Shayne Wells, Chris Egert and Katie Steiner wake me from my drunken stupor

I'm up in the morning before the local 9 a.m. chat fests begin, but I rarely turn on the TV. 

Tuesday morning, however, I couldn't miss the new battle royal going on between three of our local stations. As noted last night, channels, 4, 5 and 9 all want me to care what their highly educated, intelligent reporters and anchors think. Or at least listen to their boring interviews with fitness experts. 

I flipped between the stations for more than an hour, and found a mixed bag. 

Let's start with the granddaddy of superfluous chat, Fox 9. Now calling their morning fluff "Good Day," the gabbing trio swapped out the jolly weatherman for the roving reporter. It was a lot of the same, or so it seemed. Some of the same regular guests are sure to return, like their longtime favorite, that garden guy I have zero interest in, ever. Old Alix Kendall was outside the studio chatting him up on the "new" show for day 1. 

So what's new? I think they have a new musical ditty for the show. I didn't pay close attention. They definitely have a new set. Instead of sitting around the table, the women sit in extra tall chairs, as if they're trying to give you an "up skirt" peek. I don't get why that's a good choice. At one point there was an awkward camera shot of Alix , as if they haven't figured out the angles for the solo shots of the talking heads perched high above the floor. 

There are also new social media handles, of course, because the hour has a new name. Alix, the lone survivor of the "Good Day Minnesota" program that launched in 1999 spoke to the former name of the morning news fest, and claiming that the new program is paying homage to the first version of the morning news presentation. I believe she also suggested that the old Good Day Minnesota program was a little less news intensive overall, as the rebranded Buzz hour will be. Quite a bombshell you dropped there, Alix. 

Perhaps more relevant, "Good Day" is a tag that Fox likes to drop on local programming around the country. Seems like the Fox 9 program is simply following corporate branding in 2021, for what that's worth. 

Alix did talk about a clip of the old 1999 program at one point, which showed the original foursome. Last I knew, Tim Sherno, Robin Wolfram and Mary Alice Rosko no longer work in TV. Not a shock. We know Sherno has bounced around for years since leaving Ch. 5, his home after Fox 9. Rosko left TV to reinvent herself, she claimed, and did some travelling and blogging for a year or so, then needed a paycheck and is now a media contact for a nonprofit organization (I assume it's nonprofit).

The clip was a fun flashback. Your hair was much darker in 1999, Alix. 

Most of the program was otherwise forgettable, as it should be. They still fluff up Buzz Boy's 10 a.m. talker minutes before it begins. They all slapped each other on the back. Jason Matheson is starting his seventh year as a little league talk show host. Oh boy!

I didn't see all of the program because I flipped back and forth between the competitors. 

On Ch. 4, Mr. Forehead Jason DeRusha was holding court, as usual. His usual sidekick, Heather Brown, was absent, so third wheel Shayla Reaves held court with Mr. Foodie. She was hired in December 2020, evidently. Was she a direct replacement for Kim Johnson? I don't know. We also lost Ali Lucia last year, and since I can barely stomach DeRusha, I almost never turn on CBS in the morning. I'm skeptical they ever replaced the traffic reporter position when Lucia left. So I'm guessing Reaves is a 1-for-2 hire, but I can't prove that. 

The one thing I remember from my brief glimpses at Ch. 4 on Tuesday, they still bring in one of the reporters to contribute to an intellectually stimulating conversation. I doubt they had one, but I assume that's the goal. Today it was Katie Steiner, the fourth-string meteorologist. Or is she fifth-string? Hard to say. But rather than all sit on the couch together, Steiner was in an office, or somewhere else outside the studio, so they could do that magical split-screen banter between her and the co-hosts. Yawn. 

Over at Ch. 5, they rolled out a lackluster "Minnesota Live" show. It's weak, but at least they're trying something different. Seems like that's the perennial goal for Ch. 5. 

Hosts Megan Newquist and Chris Egert run a similar gab fest, from a set that looks like it was discarded by a cable access studio. I heard them give the mandatory speech telling me what the show is, and they introduced a revolutionary element to the show. You can share your photos with KSTP, and they may be featured on the show! 

It all sounds uninspired, but I will note that they are doing something distinct. The show is broadcast in Rochester and Duluth, as well, and they'll be using reporters from their sister stations in those areas to bring general interest segments to viewers in all three markets. Sure, Fox 9 could send a reporter to Duluth to preview some fall festival, which interests me none, but there's interesting potential for this chat fest that will set it apart. Points for that. 

I did see moments of some sort of health and/or fitness segment on Ch. 5. I didn't hear any disclaimers about it being a sponsored segment, and I have no idea if they had a disclaimer at the end of the show, but KSTP's first day health/wellness segment sure looked like a sponsored segment. Not a crime, of course, but one of many reasons I dislike these faux news shows. 

And there was a segment where Egert and Newquist brought out the show director or producer. Whatever her job is, she discussed the grand vision and they answered all our burning questions. Oh thank God, Twin Cities Live isn't going away. It's a sister show to the new Minnesota Live! They had flashbacks to the early years of TCL, too, as if that was relevant somehow. And they sure think highly of TCL. I'm glad somebody does. 

Ch. 5 launched an overall lackluster program, but there's potential. Lord knows there's room for growth. 

I read some tweets today. Somebody claimed that while Egert and Newquist are still anchoring news from 5:30-7, or something like that, they no longer fill 7-9 on Ch. 45, or kick off the morning at 4:30. Not sure if that means another set of staffers fill those gaps, or if Ch. 5 dropped them. I'll take a look soon enough. I'm sure you're dying to know the answer if you don't already. 

And I saw a celebratory tweet from Fox 9. They had a celebratory moment after their first Good Day program, as if they had just worked for months to open a new craft brewery in an abandoned Minneapolis warehouse. I don't care how much planning when into the rebranding, that's all it was. Try to keep it in perspective. But it's TV, those folks never miss an opportunity to slap themselves on the back. 

I stuck with Ch. 9 at 10 a.m. to see the kick off of what's year 7 of Jason Matheson's amateur hour. I see glimpses of it now and then, as Fox likes to run the show two or three times a day between its stations. It's always unimpressive and minor league in its style and substance. It's less focused on local talkers, and somehow the show is carried in other cities. I haven't seen a list of which cities, but a station in Seattle has nothing better to show than an hour of Matheson fawning over his favorite TV shows and sharing his inside Hollywood gossip that can only be gleaned by a talking head in Minnesota. 

The fact that a station Seattle is now carrying his gab fest as of this fall boggles my mind. 

Yes, I'm still retired. Several times per year I find something worth writing about, but I can't bring myself to do it on a regular basis. You never know when Jeff Dubay will be arrested next, or when Keith Leventhal will get a new job, prompting me to get off the couch. But yes, I'm still retired. 

Alix Kendall, Rena Sarigianopoulos and Elizabeth Ries walk into a bar

I want to write about too many things, and I don't want to write 10 blog posts in the next year, so here are thoughts on a variety of topics, rolled into one package.

YOUR LIFE IS NOT THAT FASCINATING

Why is it that TV stations insist on treating their employees like they're part of our family? I'm sure the anchors and reporters are complicit in this.

We all know Rena Sarigianopoulos got married and had a child during the past few years. It's hard to hide the pregnancy when a woman continues to work on camera, but honestly, did KARE-TV need to share pictures of Rena's wedding and pregnancy announcement on its social media channels?

It's one thing to note that an on-air "talent" has had a child. If you watch Rena on that news-fluff program she participates in you noticed the obvious, and were probably reminded of it plenty of times. (I don't watch, so I don't know.) When Rena disappears for weeks, it's understandable that the station will show a picture of the mother and child and note a baby was born.

But TV stations take it to another level these days thanks to social media. I'm not sure which station in the Twin Cities is most guilty, but damn, KARE-TV sure likes to exploit the personal lives of their talent. I have to assume the talent agrees to play along. It's sad, and it is trumped by the fact that people actually care. They will respond to those Facebook posts to congratulate Rena or whomever it is for their incredible accomplishment. Harmless, sure, but a sad indictment of both the stations pumping out the local news and the people watching it.

BRING ME A BARF BAG

I'm not a fan of that lame attempt at news chat that Rena and her pal are doling out at 6:30 p.m., although Rena doesn't seem that interested any more. I don't watch the show, but if I have the TV on at 6:30, I try to see who is hosting on any particular night, and Rena is absent more often than not, it seems.

Perhaps the show is better than it was a couple of years ago when I first watched it, but honestly, these people are not smart.

Did I ever mention Rena once lectured me on Twitter? I made a silly comment about the show, but instead of ignoring it, Rena lectured me for my negativity. Now keep in mind that I had watched the show three times in its opening few months. I was watching on one 2016 night and tweeted that I was going to change the channel because the windbags on #BTN11 were going to praise Chris Kluwe, who should need no introduction to you because he's a media whore. I never said I wouldn't turn the channel back in five minutes to watch the final segment of the show.

So Rena, in response to a snarky comment at the end of the show, "busted" me. And then she lectured me, and tried to flatter her own ego at the same time. How superficial. And so, so wrong. At this point I hadn't tweeted all that much about her show, but she really put me in my place!

I was a social bully for daring to criticize a crappy show and refusing to watch two women babble about Chris Kluwe? OK, honey.

She didn't block me, like she should have if she is so delusional as to think I tweet hate daily.

Ignore those who criticize your crappy show if your skin is so thin. But pretending I'm some social bully who is constantly tweeting about how awful the show is shows how petty she is. Some might suggest it's an indicator of intelligence, or lack thereof.

Rena's not the only person who lives in a fantasy world of self-importance. The show has a producer named Nikki Muehlhausen who once lectured me on Twitter. She's at least smart enough to have deleted her tweets about a day after she did so. But basically darling Nikki told me that I'm allowed to praise her lame show and offer a suggestion, but I'm not allowed to call a spade a spade. I was wrong for calling it like I see it. I can kiss #BTN11 ass, but I can't call out bad TV when I see it. I didn't screen capture it, so I can't share the sentiment exactly as it was expressed, but yes, she was that ridiculous.

There's a dufus named Chad Nelson who points a camera at stuff now and again for Ch. 11. He saw some of my tweets, particularly those simple, dopey ones I sent for a while, noting I wasn't watching #BTN11 daily, despite what Rena thinks. His life is no better than mine, evidently, as he tried to needle me a few times in response. I love dopes who like to fight fire with fire. I'm sure he thinks he's above that.

In its earliest days they had some stiff named Nick Petersen who was their social media genius. They'd turn to him to share with the viewers what they were talking about on social media while watching the show. The guy wasn't smooth. I didn't interact with him much, but I did note his segment was painful to watch. A couple of months later I tweeted something (probably snarky) and made my standard comment about how I hate every segment, every day. He didn't reply. He blocked me, and I'm guessing he did so simply because he wasn't interested in seeing my comments in his social media scouring for #BTN11.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is how it's done. Don't get high and mighty like Rena and Nikki, don't be a fool like Chad. Just ignore and move on. I'll have a lot more respect for you, even if you're not great on camera. (I flip to the show for a moment every once in a great while, and I haven't seen that guy on camera for a long, long time. I'm guessing Nikki saw the same thing I did.)

My favorite interaction came from Chris Hrapsky. He's a KARE reporter who has had to feed from the #BTN11 trough a lot, as far as I can tell. (He has my sympathy.) I'm not sure why he was compelled to engage me, but rather than get all high and mighty, he spent a few minutes to learn a thing or two and ask a question. I was impressed.

Chris could be an egomaniac for all I know. He could have the IQ of a diseased cat. But in comparison to all those from KARE who engaged me regarding #BTN11, he appears to be the only person whose elevator goes to the top floor. I can barely watch KARE's newscasts these days, for a myriad of reasons, but I respect a guy who doesn't need to come off as holier than thou.

IT'S HARD TO KARE

I'm no expert or insider, I've said that before. But Ch. 11 has really gone down the toilet when it comes to overall quality of their news and newscasts, and I don't need to be an expert in order to see that. I don't have the time or patience to list all the ways the station has lost my viewership. I watch on a rare occasion just because I like torturing myself. The single best example of how the once-mighty NBC affiliate has gone in the dumper? Weekend sports kid Ryan Shaver.

CAN I GET A BARF BAG WITH JASON MATHESON'S FACE ON IT?

I have mocked the fact that TV viewers find the opinions of the local talking heads to be entertaining, interesting and/or important. It was enough to have the goofballs at Ch. 9 doing it every weekday at 9 a.m., but it must have been too lucrative, as Ch. 4 decided they needed to get in on the action, too. I won't rehash my previous rants about that.

Of all the talking bobos on local TV, nobody is more nauseating than Jason Matheson.

I use to respect the guy. He worked long hours and did whatever it took to land two seemingly decent jobs in the Twin Cities. And with all that effort, he has become intolerable.

I occasionally watch a few minutes of his TV chat fest on Ch. 9, airing weekdays at 10 a.m. and a dozen other times each week at any odd time the local Fox affiliate has time to fill on either of its stations.

First off, God bless Jason for playing up the gay stereotype of being fascinated with pop culture. I don't know if he gushes over the usual gay icons -- Cher, Barbra Streisand and Rosie O'Donnell -- but he gushes over a few people, I've learned over the years. Katie Couric immediately comes to mind. It sells, buddy, so keep it up, I suppose.

Why are people so fascinated about a gay man who will tell you how interesting a "Real Housewives" episode is? I'll never understand people.

A dude working in Minneapolis, talking about pop culture. Big fucking deal. But Jesus, Jason will try to convince you he has his fingers on the pulse of Hollywood, and connections you just won't get anywhere else. Maybe he does, I don't know, but every time I sample his schtick, he's making fairly obvious observations. He's like a poor woman's Wendy Williams. You want a window into the world of mindless sheep, watch Wendy's audience go nuts for her banal observations. Then get a local version of it by watching Matheson gab on Fox 9.

For whatever reason, his two-bit show has been given two summer tryouts as a national talker. I'm stunned that there's nothing better to consider. There can't be if his show is being given a tryout.

I tried to congratulate him for the opportunity. But I didn't simply kiss his ass, which seems to be the way you have to treat him nowadays.

I noted via Twitter to Matheson that it was a tough road to national stardom he was about to navigate, as proven by bigger names who have had summer tryouts in limited markets, but it was impressive nonetheless that he had been given the opportunity. Princess took that as an insult, of course, and had to self-stimulate his ego in responding to me. You'll have to take my word for it, I'm not in the mood to create Twitter images to illustrate it.

I don't read his tweets regularly, but he once bitched about the cost of an Uber ride from the local airport. I get that you don't make millions of dollars per year in local broadcasting, but it seemed silly to me. Perhaps he was trying to appear relatable to all the housewives who adore their gal pal.

I mocked him for his silly bitching, and of course his response was quite Sarigianopoulos-like, pretending that he's constantly under attack by me, somebody who rarely pays attention to his silliness.

He's a great success story whose ego can no longer be contained by his Buzz Boy frame.

I haven't listened to 10 minutes of his chick talk on morning drive radio, so I can't comment about how brilliant, or brutal, his long-form fawning over Shania Twain is.

And last, but not least: Jason, please convince those cheap bastards at Fox 9 to spend some cash on a theme song for your daily parade. Please don't tell me that the garbage you're using now is original, commissioned music. It sounds like royalty-free crap that would be used as filler during some lame children's show.

DID THEY HAVE A PRENUP? 

It's not nice to laugh at the failures of others, but I'll admit that the implosion of Paul Lambert's fairy tale marriage warms my heart a little.

Lambert, known as "Meatsauce" on 100.3 FM's morning show, is a great rags to riches story. He plays his part well, and as I've said before, he's The Fan's replacement for Jeff Dubay.

The hype and publicity he garnered for losing a few pounds and marrying Falen, a sidekick on the KDWB morning show, was a bit nauseating. Two people working for Clear Channel morning shows start dating, get married and live happily ever after. Congrats. More power to you.

It's inevitable that it's going to come up on the morning shows they work for. I assume it was discussed on KDWB. I rarely listen to morning radio, and when I do, I never listen to Dave Ryan. Ever.

But the nuptials got a lot of steam in the Twin Cities. There was at least one feature story in the local media profiling the love affair of these two "celebrities," and the duo didn't hesitate to market themselves as some sort of "Beauty and the Beast" duo. They'd find ways to use their marriage for promotion of themselves and/or their radio stations. I never watched the videos, but they had cooking videos that were shared on the radio station websites, if I recall correctly.

These clowns were nauseating, but that's what you have to be if you want to make money as a "personality." And of course the fairy tale marriage came crashing to the ground within a couple of years. I've read comments about why, but I've never heard or read a reliable explanation, and I don't care.

I don't revel in the failure of these fools, but it brings a wry smile to my face, knowing that their personal lives have been shown to be as fraudulent as their on-air personas.

QUICK HITS

To close out this Twin Cities roundup, here are random thoughts.

It's great that you get to sit on a WCCO couch once a week and give us your insightful movie reviews, Dennis "Rusty" Gatenby, but it's time to put your name to use as some mediocre communications coordinator for a local company and quit trying to hold onto the local TV limelight you lost so long ago.

It has been more than 18 months since I last published on this blog, and the last time I did, I noted what a waste of flesh Cheryl Johnson is. She's better known by her initials, B.J., and since she got in trouble for her idiocy back in 2016 she has been severely neutered by the Strib, which published the garbage she produced. The only reason they don't shitcan her, I'm guessing, is that she'll sue for discrimination. There ain't no way she's worth whatever they're paying her, and there ain't no way she's getting a better paying gig if she's kicked to the curb by the Strib. But it's nice to see the Strib has stopped publishing the garbage she use to produce, which seemed to lack any sort of editorial scrutiny.

I never, in my wildest dreams, would have guessed we'd still have sports talk on AM 1500. I don't know how that low-rated station survives, but kudos to all of you who looked to be out of a job more than a year ago.

And Kudos to the Pohlad family for proving that underachievement isn't limited to the MLB franchise you own. The inability of the Pohlads, whichever brother(s) run the radio/media conglomerate they built, to succeed in running a radio station is a fitting testament to the business savvy the family has demonstrated during the past 25 years.

Brian Oake is still an asshole. It just needs to be said more often than it is.

Last, and certainly least, is the namesake of this blog. I've predicted before that it's going to end on a very sour note for Dubay. His most recent run-in with the law ended with a plea agreement he made. He claimed that he couldn't risk going to jail for years as a result of the lies of a vindictive housemate he may or may not have been having sex with. Even if Dubay's hands were clean, the circumstances of it all show how hard it is to pick up the pieces after you've flushed your career and reputation down the toilet. And we know Dubay hasn't been able to walk the straight and narrow in the years since it all came crashing down around him. Unless Dubay comes to Jesus and makes peace with what's left of his life -- the dude is 50 years old, it's unlikely his life is ever going to be as cool as it was in his 30s -- it's not a matter of what ugliness will befall his life, it's simply a question of when does the next shoe drop. Good luck, Puffy, you're going to need it far more than most degenerate gamblers.

AND FINALLY

It's easy to throw stones at the local media. When pompous script readers like Jason DeRusha lecture the world on how precious his time is, and how great of a human he is for giving of his time, it's hard to avoid vomiting. Oh yeah, he's a culinary genius who eats and writes. He's multi-faceted!

When local "talent" is asked to fill an hour talking about the news and water cooler topics, you'll end up cringing at some point, assuming you're not lapping it up like a Pavlovian dog. (I'll never forget the excitement the recently departed Kylie Bearse expressed about the fascinating hour of chat they were about to launch at 9 a.m. a couple of years ago.)

It's too easy to throw stones because too many of the folks producing news or inane chat are mediocre at best, not nearly as well compensated as you might think. As I've noted before, plenty of folks get out of the biz for jobs that seem far less prestigious, and I'd bet my last $5 that income is a major factor in why former reporters find their way to communications positions with corporations or governmental agencies. Or, if you're fortunate enough to be a trophy wife, a la Natalie Nyhus, you can afford to stay home with your child. Why pass your paycheck onto a day care provider when you can spend those formative years with your child? Good gig if you can get it.

I have occasionally lavished praise, or simple observations, about developments in the local media. But more often than anything, I've chosen the low hanging fruit: Criticizing the mediocrity and mindlessness of the local media. The Twin Cities may be a top 20 market nationally, but our products are weak, and we're not unique. Media companies don't have the exclusivity and license to print money they once held, and they're not interested in being nonprofit entities.

I am pretty much guaranteed years of fodder, should I chose to accept it. But not so long ago, I listened as a motivational speaker discussed the merits of creating, regardless of the audience for your product. Sure, this blog is a creative outlet, and one that finds an audience. With little promotion these days I've found that plenty of people find their way to the blog. Not hundreds per day, but more than most "mommy" bloggers get, I'd wager.

This blog is a creative endeavor, but it's not the most satisfying creative outlet. A few months ago I finally started a new creative project that has nothing to do with writing, and I'm enjoying it. I'm going to keep at it.

I won't suggest that I'm never going to record another thought at this blog, but it hasn't been a priority for more than a year, and since the start of 2018, I've finally found a replacement for that creative expression this blog has provided, even if it is at Keith Leventhal's expense. (As his biggest fan, I had to work a backhanded compliment in one more time.)

Until something changes, I'm putting the blog on indefinite hiatus. Now, if we could just get Fox 9 to do the same thing with Ian Leonard....

Do you love Jeff Dubay more than he hates you?

When I started this blog a little over two years ago, I needed some random, slightly clever title for it, emphasis on slightly.

Jeff Dubay seemed like the perfect minor broadcasting "celebrity" worthy of immortalizing with this blog. Little did I know his life would implode, again, soon after I launched the blog. I'm not a fan of his schtick, but I do root for him, despite his appetite for self-destruction.

My goal was never to build a a vast online audience or a social media empire, I just wanted a place for opinions to be shared on people who think they're really, really special because they are seen or heard daily in the Twin Cities.

I have promoted the blog a bit, but I've mostly given that up. I tried promoting it via a couple of avenues, but I've since come to enjoy watching blog postings find their audience organically. I share each blog post via Google, and usually tweet a link to it once or twice, otherwise I'm rather low key when it comes to promotion.

I won't cite a lot of analytics, but I will share a few interesting tidbits when I look at how this modest collection of essays has reached the masses during the two years I've churned out content.

I'm averaging about 12 posts a year, and I never intended for this blog to have weekly content.

I'm not delusional, page views are no promise that a viewer has read a word I wrote. But that's one of the few measurements I have available in trying to decide if anyone notices the content I create.

I've tried a few experiments with Google and learned that my blog postings are near the top of Google searches for some of the broadcasters I've toasted.

Number one, easily, is Alix Kendall.

My April 2014 blog post about Kendall and her lawsuit against the cops has generated more than 13,000 page views in nearly two years.

I'm no analytical genius, but it doesn't take one to know that female TV broadcasters are frequently Googled.

Kendall must be quite popular with the Googlers of the Twin Cities. As a matter of fact, there's a blog site that features thousands of pictures of newswomen nationwide wearing boots. (Rena Sarigianopoulos, my new least favorite broadcaster, has been featured on the site.) That blog started as a site dedicated to the worship of Kendall.

So the fact that Kendall generates the most traffic to this blog is not a surprise. I should probably write about her more often just for the web traffic, but I'm not as fascinated by her, or her boots, as some people.

It's a close race for first runner up. The edge goes to a guy known on KFAN radio as Meatsauce.

His post grabbed a lot of attention in June 2014 because I tweeted the link to him, and he tweeted the link to his followers. As you'd expect, Paul Lambert wasn't enamored with my critique of his success in radio. I don't hate him, I don't love him and I didn't flatter him when I reviewed his charmed life, but he shared my writing, perhaps to rally those who love him to his defense. It worked, it appeared, as my blog post about him blew up quicker than any other I've written.

But ultimately Kendall proved to be more appealing to the Internet than Lambert, not to my surprise, so he's a distant second with barely half of Kendall's page views.

In third place, not far behind Lambert, is a post about Kelsey Soby. I've penned a couple of posts about Soby, but it was the first one that has her at more than 6,000 page views. Not to my surprise she generates a lot of Internet steam, although that has slowed down thanks to her retirement from being a morning traffic babe.

In fourth place is my post about Emily Engberg. The out-and-about imp for the channel 5 afternoon chat fest is easy on the eyes, and she has managed to generate nearly 5,000 page views.

From there things drop off dramatically. No other blog post has generated 2,000 page views. The closest would be a long dissection of Jason Matheson's career. That post is a steady performer, helped in part by the fact that a Google search of his name sometimes puts my posting at the bottom of page 1. He's no Engberg, clearly, but he's an established broadcaster that has a strong name in this market. So thanks, buddy, for the blog traffic. I'm not a loyal fan of his work, but I like his attitude, so it's hard to root against him.

Some of my older blog posts have low page views, often because I didn't drop a name into the title, I suspect. Name checking the primary subject, if there is one, helps generate traffic. Posts that don't have a name in them are the worst performers, according to page views.

Although I have several post titles that reference Dubay, none of them top 1,000 page views. And my very first post, about Dennis "Rusty" Gatenby, has more page views than any Dubay post, although it, too, has less than 1,000 page views.

Showing promise is a November 2015 post about Shayne Wells, the new traffic babe at FOX 9. It has nearly 1,400 page views, which is pretty good compared to everything I've written about Dubay.

Another measurement of interest in the comments I receive. None of my posts receive a truckload of comments, and the comment tally includes responses I make, and I respond in some capacity to most of the comments I receive.

Many posts have no comments, but the post with the most is my Lambert analysis. His total is due, in part, to the fact he tweeted it to his followers, and several of them read it, and responded. The post manages to generate an occasional comment nearly two years later.

Kendall gets the most page views, but her post is second when it comes to comments. She has never tweeted a link to my writing, to the best of my knowledge, so I'm guessing that has something to do with it.

My first post about Soby is the third most popular with those who comment. Beyond that my blog has a small, random handful of comments.

These numbers don't tell you a lot, and I don't care. I just wanted a snapshot for comparison purposes should I continue this blog in the years to come.

One last note, my post about Keith Leventhal is doing pretty well. It has nearly 1,000 page views, which is impressive given nobody in the Twin Cities knows who he is. I suspect half of that traffic is due to the fact he visits the post on a daily basis.

Rena Sarigianopoulos doesn't need a part-time job

It's not exactly breaking news: Plenty of our local celebrities aren't living on easy street.

By local celebrity I refer to those who speak on TV or the radio. They're not celebrities, but we like to think of them as special, and act accordingly.

It has long been known that those who have "cool" jobs in major market radio don't necessarily cash fat paychecks. Sure, there are heavy hitters whose presence are a major draw, and their salary will reflect that. But even those folks aren't on the fast track to living next door to a lion hunting dentist, either in Eden Prairie or Marco Island, Fla.

Our local jocks are often shilling for products when they're not dazzling us with their dulcet tones. I'll never forget listening to Jeff Dubay shill for Body Solutions, along with many other local jocks, many moons ago. They were essentially shilling for snake oil, but as long as the checks were being cashed.

When Dan Barreiro was splitting time between sports radio and writing columns for the Star Tribune, he didn't do commercials. Not so long ago we liked to hold our "journalists" to a higher standard. Barreiro wasn't a journalist, but nonetheless.

Wait a minute. Why was Barreiro holding two jobs simultaneously for several years? Like radio, the newspaper game isn't exactly a license to print money. Sports guys working in television or newspapers by virtue of their jobs were a wealth of information, and ultimately opinions, therefore they were good candidates for the low-paying world of talk radio.

Barreiro obviously built a reputation and following that afforded him the luxury of not answering to bosses at the Strib, and therefore bailed out on the newspaper biz, which has taken it in the shorts since the Internet era began. (The rapid decline in the broadcast and print industries both have the Internet to thank for the deterioration of their business model, and the low quality product you're commonly served in 2015.)

Soon after Barreiro sold his soul to radio, he started endorsing products. You'd think that a successful, heralded personality like Barreiro would forgo attaching his name to whatever bidder came along with the fattest check, but obviously the money's good enough for him to grab. Whether his salary is hefty or modest, none of us tires of banking easy money.

Commercial reads and promotional appearances at bars, restaurants and Best Buy have long been a staple of the radio jock. I've heard it said that jocks can double their salary with work outside of, or in conjunction with, their on-air shifts. It's no surprise the time-honored tradition continues, even with the heavy hitters in the industry. Tom Barnard has made obscene amounts of money in his career, both at KQRS and in the commercial voice over biz, and yet he's still hustling gigs.

In recent years we've seen plenty of TV people wading into pools they wouldn't have dipped a toe into years ago. Just as newspaper folk have found income opportunities in radio, sports anchors and reporters from TV land have been offering their talents to the AM and FM dial. Mark Rosen has been the leader in this, dating back to the 1980s.

Randy Shaver has also had a long association with the local radio airwaves, albeit to a far lesser extent, as he mysteriously chats with the metalheads of the 93X morning show. And more recently Joe Schmit has made his presence felt on a recurring basis, thanks largely to his TV station also owning the local ESPN affiliate. (Perhaps he has long had a presence on the airwaves, predating the flip to sports talk, and I just never knew it.)

Although Schmit's arrangement is all about corporate synergy, he's no stranger to shilling for extra cash. Thanks to the loosening of our journalistic standards, the sports guys can hawk all sorts of non-sports products on the airwaves. Schmit has long shilled for local pizza, and was "Vacation Joe" under a previous ownership of Sun Country airlines, an arrangement that Schmit tried to capitalize upon once upon a time, going so far as to leave KSTP-TV for a while. That didn't work out so well. It turned out worse for his buddy, the former owner of the airline.

Schmit may not be hawking vacations this year, but he figured there's a buck or two to be made in the world of print, so he has his own vanity publication to capture them.

It's easy to blur the lines between sports broadcasters and corporate pitchman. These guys may be journalists, technically, but so are the anchors and reporters bringing us important stories via Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood. Rosen, Schmit and the rest are merely entertainment reporters.

Where it gets interesting is watching our local journalists find ways to double dip. Examples of this are fewer, but we've seen some entertaining double dipping in recent years. And I'm not talking about Elizabeth Ries or Jason Matheson, mostly because they're not journalists any more, although Matheson went through the motions not so long ago at WCCO-TV.

I'm not familiar with Ries' resume, so I don't know how much news reporting she did or was doing prior to whenever she arrived at KSTP-TV, but when the door opened to become a shill for local products under the guise of co-hosting a local "talk show," she gave up all pretense of being a journalist. She's now determined to milk it for everything she can.

She became a co-host on the company-owned chick talk station in addition to her hourly TV show responsibilities, at least until she gave birth to a child. She continues to smile for the TV camera on weekday afternoons, but ceased gabbing about celebrities all morning on the radio. She was reported to remain a part of the chick talk radio station as a contributor in some capacity, but I can't vouch for that actually happening.

Matheson has dabbled in news reporting, as I noted, but he's carved out his niche in celebrity talk, as evidenced by his tenure in morning drive at the same chick talk station. One morning radio job isn't enough to pay the bills, evidently, as he has been pulling double duty for a while now. He returned to his mistress, Fox 9, earlier this year after about two years apart, and there's no pretense that his job is to report news of any kind.

I get it, maximize your earnings while you can. That second job may not be necessary, but if it keeps you in the public eye and helps solidify your brand, (I detest that term,) rake in that extra cash.

Anchors can make good money reading a teleprompter and smiling for the camera, as if they're some sort of geniuses. Occasionally an anchor steps out from behind the desk, but often they have it easy. I often wonder how well Leah McLean would do if she had to actually report a story.

Reporters who are well established and specialized probably do OK, but reporting isn't a great gig.

A guy who went by the stage name "Bryce Williams" is well known now that he shot and killed a reporter and camera man during a live news segment this past summer. Williams was a former employee of the Virginia TV station the reporter and camera man worked for. He was reported to have earned $36,000 annually while employed by the station. Major market station? No. But Williams wasn't fresh out of college. Perhaps his odd behavior and issues during his previous employment resulted in his being mired in small market TV. Even had his career progressed to Minneapolis, I doubt his salary would have increased exponentially.

How great is the pay in reporting? You can find several examples of former reporters who have given up their career for something that has nothing to do with TV. As pointed out not so long ago, KMSP-TV's Kelsey Soby bailed out of television for a job she hardly seems qualified for. I can name a few people off the top of my head who bailed out in recent years for jobs in public relations, sometimes as spokespeople for governmental agencies. Somehow being a TV reporter makes you good at communicating the business of the county attorney, county sheriff or a police department.

Tim McNiff, a former sports guy who spent many years anchoring the morning newscasts at KARE-TV, bailed out last year to become the executive director of media relations for some Minnetonka p.r. firm. Really, he was the most qualified person for the job? A guy who had spent the previous decade reading news nuggets that others wrote is the best guy to relate to the media? Perhaps, but doubtful.

And why did McNiff give up a life in the spotlight? He was probably bored with it, a little bit anyway. And he might not have been in line for a better gig at Ch. 11, so that might have been a factor. You think he traded in a hefty paycheck and a few hours of on-air time every morning for a 9-to-5 job and a pay cut? Don't bet on it.

The bottom line: TV isn't all that glamorous, and even if it's not construction work, it's not a ticket to easy street. You'd better be lucky like McLean or able to parlay your pseudo-fame like sports anchors or Matheson if you want a nice house in Eden Prairie. And no, I'm not forgetting another option: Marrying a six-figure salary. What car salesman doesn't want pseudo-celebrity arm candy?

Which brings us to Rena Sarigianopoulos. For a while she walked the fine line few reporters do. She double dipped.

Yeah, Jason DeRusha must bank a few bucks for penning his brilliant observations about the restaurant industry. But other than weather people flashing their smiling mugs on the weather page of a local daily newspaper, few non-sports folks seem to make a habit of parlaying their brilliance into meaningful second incomes.

But Sarigianopoulos pulled it off for a while. She inexplicably was chosen as part of a trifecta that helmed a morning show on 96.3 FM. Alongside her colleague Eric Perkins, who also had no business being on local radio, Sarigianopoulos had an early morning gig on FM radio to go along with the many hats she wears at Ch. 11. I'm not sure how often she was absent from her radio gig, but if she worked every weekday morning, then she didn't have a day off, as she is a busy beaver during the weekends at Ch. 11.

Besides anchoring weekend newscasts, Sarigianopoulos would be on the air bright and early on Saturday mornings to do two hours of local chat, which often blurs the line between human interest and paid advertising. And she'd be on the air a few weeknights filing a report from the asphalt jungle. The woman had a crappy Ch. 11 schedule and yet she added weekday mornings to it? Why would she do something so ridiculous? I'm going to guess her mortgage payments were a little hefty for her KARE-TV paycheck.

But she's married now, and her trophy husband is a car salesman. He sells nice cars, too, it sounds. The commission ought to be good. And if so, Sarigianopoulos – who no longer cashes paychecks from 96.3 FM – won't have to find a second job to pay the mortgage.

For every overpaid face on local TV, there are plenty of others who aren't being compensated as if they're anything special. But the public likes to adore these fine folks as if they're royalty. If only they knew.

Let's not shatter the illusion.

Please, tell us what you think (Jason DeRusha is so smart!)

I'm sure we owe it to the abundance of cable news channels.

When did we start caring what news broadcasters think?

As the years go on, we find networks and stations continuing to serve us opinion after opinion from their talking heads.

We've always looked to broadcasters for commentary and criticism, but when did we decide it's important to know what Alix Kendall and Jason DeRusha think?

I use to scoff at the idea, as if Kendall giving her opinion on today's social issues or political wrangling was some sort of breach of ethics. But let's be honest, Kendall isn't a reporter. She's not a journalist. She may know what's going on when she presents the news, but she's not out there gathering information and filing a report. She's paid to talk, and to look good when she does it. She may have once pounded the pavement, but those days are over. She gets to sit in the comfy chair all morning, and then on a comfy couch to share her keen insight on the day's news nuggets and celebrity non-news, which of course has become increasingly important in our day-to-day lives.

She's one of many at the local and national level. And we care. We care what Kendall and her sidekicks think. We really care. If we didn't, KMSP-TV wouldn't be airing an hour of Kendall and her sidekicks every weekday morning.

That's what local television is coming to, and why not? We've been subjected to a steady diet of this for years now. It wasn't enough to know what Barbara Walters and company think about "hot topics," we needed an afternoon clone on CBS. And now we have a minority women panel doing the same thing on a daily syndicated program. I guess we can't get enough of that sort of thing on cable television. Or maybe too many of us still can't afford it.

We haven't hit the local saturation point yet, evidently, because WCCO-TV opted to share with us an hour of their broadcasting brilliance rather than replace the latest celebrity talk show host failure with another syndicated program. We're calling it Mid-Morning, or MidMorning. I don't know which, as the WCCO Facebook page can't decide what we're calling it.

We now get DeRusha and his giddy sidekick sharing stories and insight into the world we live in every weekday morning at 9 a.m.

But damn, do we have to choose? Those 9 a.m. eyeballs are so valuable that WCCO is challenging KMSP directly. Look out world, it's Carson vs. Rivers all over again!

I had to sample a few minutes of the inaugural show, and it's pretty much as I expected. As the final minutes counted down to the start of the fresh, new and exciting show, the giddy sidekick could hardly contain herself. I didn't realize the start of an hour of fluff was so exciting. You'd think WCCO was about to invent a new format.

But alas, it was not to be. There are straightforward news and weather presentations packaged into the WCCO chat fest, something KMSP avoids doing at 9 a.m. since they're not beholden to a network morning show for the two hours prior to their couch chat.

The lowlight of the morning came when DeRusha and the sidekick actually moved away from the news desk to sit at the in-studio couch, joined by DeRusha's morning news babes, so that the foursome could privilege us with their opinions on the news of the day. Oh thank God!

I turned back at the end of the show to see the self-congratulatory finale of their first chat fest. You' would have thought they had just landed an unmanned spacecraft on Mars.

I had no idea how nervous KMSP was about competition for the thousands and thousands of people who crave couch chat every morning. When I flipped to KMSP I saw none other than the prodigal son, Jason Matheson, sitting on the couch. His TV wife and the jolly weatherman weren't there. It's spring break at many metro schools this week, I'm sure they're busy entertaining the kids in some far away land, as all grade school students are entitled to.

I'd actually pay to read the story of why Matheson – whom we love more than Wendy Williams, Whoopi Goldberg and Kelly Ripa combined – spent a year on the bench to earn his parole from KMSP, only to turn around and forsake his first love and return to KMSP less than a year later. (What the hell happened at WCCO in less than a year? Why does KMSP need him on their station so badly? Why the absence of a non-compete clause like the one that chained him to the FM dial for a year before he emerged at WCCO?)

It's unlikely Matheson is going to bail on his morning drive radio gig in order to make a triumphant return to the couch on a regular basis. Perhaps he has learned how to teleport between St. Paul and Eden Prairie. Barring that, KMSP clearly sweet talked him into blowing off at least a portion of today's morning drive in order to counter WCCO's heavy artillery. We've got a donnybrook in the making!

The television landscape has always been far more prestigious than its radio counterpart. But the value of broadcast real estate has eroded with the creation of cable television channels. And digital streaming is further eroding the already fragile ecosystem. We're seeing an increasing emphasis on talk programming on the local airwaves, including the once-coveted FM dial. So why shouldn't our local and national broadcasters and content providers emulate what works halfway decently on local radio? (The bean counters for KTMY-FM might beg to differ.)

We need entertainment in our lives. Not every program can emulate "The McLaughlin Group." But did we really need yet another hour of couch chat, even if it's buffered by news tidbits and slice-of-life profiles by the giddy sidekick?

Of course we did.

Jason Matheson must have a drug addiction

As Jeff Dubay's broadcasting career ended with a spectacular thud last month, another bastion of Twin Cities broadcasting perseverance made a splash too. Just not as big of a splash. And that's the way it should be.

Jason Matheson, a local entertainment guru, is returning to local television at Ch. 4, where Don Shelby once famously proclaimed in a commercial, "We all really like each other," or something close to that.

I've seen Matheson now and again over the years, and as best I know, he worked in some capacity, perhaps as an intern, for Ch. 4 prior to his long tenure at Ch. 9, our local Fox affiliate.

Years ago he was known as Buzz Boy, a doughy, young looking, enthusiastic entertainment reporter. Over the years he grew up to be a fixture for Fox9. He did his "Buzz Boy" weekly entertainment show, participated in the cheesy coffee talk hour the station created in lieu of another nationally fed male-female gab fest to follow the hard hitting news of the 8 a.m. hour and anchored a little news in the wee hours of the morning before the stars of the morning news took over the anchor desk.

And somewhere along the way he added chick talk radio co-hosting to his resume. After a long morning in Eden Prairie he drove to the Hubbard compound in St. Paul for girl talk. Sorry Jason, I haven't listened to more than 15 minutes of your radio career, so for all I know you could have been talking politics all day.

The dude wasn't building houses, but he was putting in long hours five days a week. As we're seeing here in the Twin Cities, radio, TV and newspaper gurus are double dipping whenever they can. Again, a topic for another night.

Matheson left Fox9 a little over a year ago, unable to get paid what he so richly deserved for wearing multiple hats on a daily basis. That coincided with his move to morning drive radio.

For a year he has sat on the television sidelines, presumably because of a non-compete clause in that fat contract from Fox9, and talked the talk on the FM dial. A little over a year later and we get the big news that Matheson is taking his talents to downtown Minneapolis.

I was mildly surprised.

Our little afternoon male-female gab fest on the Hubbard TV station was in need of a new male anchor last spring. The era of the housewife may be a novelty of the past, but the show is geared toward a female audience, now more than ever. When "Twin Cities Live" lost its testosterone in John Hanson around the same time as Matheson was readying to leave Fox9, Twin Cities Live gave up any pretense that the show was for a mixed audience. Yes, men enjoy "food, fashion and fun," or however they bill it, but it's clearly a show geared toward women, and perhaps gay men.

Because of that non-compete, I suppose, Matheson was unable to take the male reigns of TCL last spring. So KSTP poached one of its news guys to fill that void. That guy, who is so forgettable I've practically forgotten his name, conveniently left the show less than a year later to take a seat at the morning news desk. It was as if Chris Egert (see, I remember,) was filling the seat on a temporary basis until Matheson could legally fill it. And given that Matheson was already drawing his paycheck from the Hubbard empire doing morning drive on chick talk radio, it seemed like an almost perfect marriage. Even gossip maven Cheryl Johnson thought so when Matheson was preparing to leave Fox9.

And then Matheson sold his soul to his original Twin Cities mistress, Ch. 4.

I was mildly surprised, but not completely. Had he taken the male throne of TCL, it would have meant starting work before sunrise and sticking around until 4 p.m. daily. For the right money, I'm sure he'd have said yes. But he was pretty much stuck in morning drive on the radio, as TCL's cheerleader, Elizabeth Ries, is already double dipping at Hubbard, filling the morning slot after Matheson.

So Matheson is off to Ch. 4 and TCL is still looking for a man that loves food, fashion and fun.

The gossip maven claimed that multiple stations were clamoring for Matheson's talents. I'm not sure why he's such a hot commodity, but clearly he is.

There's value in familiarity, so Matheson has that going for him. And while his love of entertainment and coffee talk are not my cup of tea, there's a need for that in local television. Our country has never been more obsessed with celebrities and the millions of non-celebrities that are vying for 15 minutes, and if you want to draw viewers to your station's local news programming, you'd better be able to shill for the network's entertainment offerings. Death, taxes, gun control, those are news topics to some. For others, you'd better talk about American Idol, a Kardashian sister or Lady Gaga's current concert tour.

And there's Matheson to cash in on it.

Who knows, perhaps they'll actually have him do news reports on non-celebrity topics, but I'm guessing that a station that employs Heather Brown to go out and ask people for a "good question" on a nightly basis isn't a station that is hiring Matheson for his coverage of Hennepin County District Court proceedings.

We will soon find out.

I'm not a fan of Matheson. I'm not that interested in pop culture topics, or the opinions of TV reporters, anchors and/or meteorologists when it comes to current events and pop culture.

Despite that, I find it hard to dislike the guy. Like his good friend Jeff Dubay, Matheson has worked hard to build a career in broadcasting covering topics that he seems to love. Unlike Dubay, Matheson hasn't derailed his career or lashed out against the online negativity that lurks in dark, and no-so-dark, corners of the Internet, as far as I know.

I'm not his target audience, but obviously I've seen his stuff more than a few times on Fox9. He went from a doughy, slightly awkward entertainment reporter to a polished broadcasting professional. I may not enjoy his work, but I admire the hell out of his work ethic and professionalism.

And about that professionalism. I think if there's anything I can criticize him for, he has been professional to a fault.

Did I mention Matheson is gay? I don't know where I first heard mention of it, but it probably wasn't by Matheson. Unlike some local "celebrities," (talk show hosts, anchors and reporters are not celebrities,) Matheson doesn't need to appear on the cover of our local gay periodical three times a year, as far as I know. I don't think he hides the fact that he is gay, but just like his non-gay counterparts who don't need to vomit tidbits about their personal life, Matheson avoids it too, as best as I can tell.

Years ago a KSTP reporter and fill-in anchor use to drop harmless little references to the fact he was Jewish. I don't care what religion an anchor or reporter is. Likewise, I really don't care if a reporter or meteorologist is gay. Yet it use to bug me that when the coffee talk hour would feature stories about gay issues, Matheson seemed to be going out of his way not to reference his life or his experiences during the dialogue. Yes, I eventually caught him making a reference to his own life, but it seemed to take a long time.

On the one hand, I couldn't care less what religion or sexual orientation a reporter or meteorologist is. On the other hand, if you're going to engage in on-air coffee talk, and share opinions about the topics of the day (because it's important to know what Alix Kendall thinks about current events,) then doesn't it look curious when you don't share personal experiences about news topics that you probably can relate to during your life?

I can argue that he was too professional while sitting on the Fox9 couch, but there's no rule that says he has to cut open a vein when giving an opinion about current events or pop culture nonsense.

And that's the only thing I can find to criticize him for.

I've never met the man, I never will. I don't listen to him on the radio, and I'm not going to start. I likely won't be fascinated by the topics he covers for Ch. 4, but I'll get a chance to see his work occasionally, and I'll probably watch it.

He's good at what he does. Very good. Plenty of public figures on radio and TV in the Twin Cities rub me the wrong way. But Matheson isn't one of them. There's nothing to dislike about him.

So why must he have a drug addiction? He must be hooked on some sort of stimulant, because there's no way the guy can log that many hours week after week simply on the strength of a good night's sleep. The man might be a machine.