Shayne Wells, Chris Egert and Katie Steiner wake me from my drunken stupor

I'm up in the morning before the local 9 a.m. chat fests begin, but I rarely turn on the TV. 

Tuesday morning, however, I couldn't miss the new battle royal going on between three of our local stations. As noted last night, channels, 4, 5 and 9 all want me to care what their highly educated, intelligent reporters and anchors think. Or at least listen to their boring interviews with fitness experts. 

I flipped between the stations for more than an hour, and found a mixed bag. 

Let's start with the granddaddy of superfluous chat, Fox 9. Now calling their morning fluff "Good Day," the gabbing trio swapped out the jolly weatherman for the roving reporter. It was a lot of the same, or so it seemed. Some of the same regular guests are sure to return, like their longtime favorite, that garden guy I have zero interest in, ever. Old Alix Kendall was outside the studio chatting him up on the "new" show for day 1. 

So what's new? I think they have a new musical ditty for the show. I didn't pay close attention. They definitely have a new set. Instead of sitting around the table, the women sit in extra tall chairs, as if they're trying to give you an "up skirt" peek. I don't get why that's a good choice. At one point there was an awkward camera shot of Alix , as if they haven't figured out the angles for the solo shots of the talking heads perched high above the floor. 

There are also new social media handles, of course, because the hour has a new name. Alix, the lone survivor of the "Good Day Minnesota" program that launched in 1999 spoke to the former name of the morning news fest, and claiming that the new program is paying homage to the first version of the morning news presentation. I believe she also suggested that the old Good Day Minnesota program was a little less news intensive overall, as the rebranded Buzz hour will be. Quite a bombshell you dropped there, Alix. 

Perhaps more relevant, "Good Day" is a tag that Fox likes to drop on local programming around the country. Seems like the Fox 9 program is simply following corporate branding in 2021, for what that's worth. 

Alix did talk about a clip of the old 1999 program at one point, which showed the original foursome. Last I knew, Tim Sherno, Robin Wolfram and Mary Alice Rosko no longer work in TV. Not a shock. We know Sherno has bounced around for years since leaving Ch. 5, his home after Fox 9. Rosko left TV to reinvent herself, she claimed, and did some travelling and blogging for a year or so, then needed a paycheck and is now a media contact for a nonprofit organization (I assume it's nonprofit).

The clip was a fun flashback. Your hair was much darker in 1999, Alix. 

Most of the program was otherwise forgettable, as it should be. They still fluff up Buzz Boy's 10 a.m. talker minutes before it begins. They all slapped each other on the back. Jason Matheson is starting his seventh year as a little league talk show host. Oh boy!

I didn't see all of the program because I flipped back and forth between the competitors. 

On Ch. 4, Mr. Forehead Jason DeRusha was holding court, as usual. His usual sidekick, Heather Brown, was absent, so third wheel Shayla Reaves held court with Mr. Foodie. She was hired in December 2020, evidently. Was she a direct replacement for Kim Johnson? I don't know. We also lost Ali Lucia last year, and since I can barely stomach DeRusha, I almost never turn on CBS in the morning. I'm skeptical they ever replaced the traffic reporter position when Lucia left. So I'm guessing Reaves is a 1-for-2 hire, but I can't prove that. 

The one thing I remember from my brief glimpses at Ch. 4 on Tuesday, they still bring in one of the reporters to contribute to an intellectually stimulating conversation. I doubt they had one, but I assume that's the goal. Today it was Katie Steiner, the fourth-string meteorologist. Or is she fifth-string? Hard to say. But rather than all sit on the couch together, Steiner was in an office, or somewhere else outside the studio, so they could do that magical split-screen banter between her and the co-hosts. Yawn. 

Over at Ch. 5, they rolled out a lackluster "Minnesota Live" show. It's weak, but at least they're trying something different. Seems like that's the perennial goal for Ch. 5. 

Hosts Megan Newquist and Chris Egert run a similar gab fest, from a set that looks like it was discarded by a cable access studio. I heard them give the mandatory speech telling me what the show is, and they introduced a revolutionary element to the show. You can share your photos with KSTP, and they may be featured on the show! 

It all sounds uninspired, but I will note that they are doing something distinct. The show is broadcast in Rochester and Duluth, as well, and they'll be using reporters from their sister stations in those areas to bring general interest segments to viewers in all three markets. Sure, Fox 9 could send a reporter to Duluth to preview some fall festival, which interests me none, but there's interesting potential for this chat fest that will set it apart. Points for that. 

I did see moments of some sort of health and/or fitness segment on Ch. 5. I didn't hear any disclaimers about it being a sponsored segment, and I have no idea if they had a disclaimer at the end of the show, but KSTP's first day health/wellness segment sure looked like a sponsored segment. Not a crime, of course, but one of many reasons I dislike these faux news shows. 

And there was a segment where Egert and Newquist brought out the show director or producer. Whatever her job is, she discussed the grand vision and they answered all our burning questions. Oh thank God, Twin Cities Live isn't going away. It's a sister show to the new Minnesota Live! They had flashbacks to the early years of TCL, too, as if that was relevant somehow. And they sure think highly of TCL. I'm glad somebody does. 

Ch. 5 launched an overall lackluster program, but there's potential. Lord knows there's room for growth. 

I read some tweets today. Somebody claimed that while Egert and Newquist are still anchoring news from 5:30-7, or something like that, they no longer fill 7-9 on Ch. 45, or kick off the morning at 4:30. Not sure if that means another set of staffers fill those gaps, or if Ch. 5 dropped them. I'll take a look soon enough. I'm sure you're dying to know the answer if you don't already. 

And I saw a celebratory tweet from Fox 9. They had a celebratory moment after their first Good Day program, as if they had just worked for months to open a new craft brewery in an abandoned Minneapolis warehouse. I don't care how much planning when into the rebranding, that's all it was. Try to keep it in perspective. But it's TV, those folks never miss an opportunity to slap themselves on the back. 

I stuck with Ch. 9 at 10 a.m. to see the kick off of what's year 7 of Jason Matheson's amateur hour. I see glimpses of it now and then, as Fox likes to run the show two or three times a day between its stations. It's always unimpressive and minor league in its style and substance. It's less focused on local talkers, and somehow the show is carried in other cities. I haven't seen a list of which cities, but a station in Seattle has nothing better to show than an hour of Matheson fawning over his favorite TV shows and sharing his inside Hollywood gossip that can only be gleaned by a talking head in Minnesota. 

The fact that a station Seattle is now carrying his gab fest as of this fall boggles my mind. 

Yes, I'm still retired. Several times per year I find something worth writing about, but I can't bring myself to do it on a regular basis. You never know when Jeff Dubay will be arrested next, or when Keith Leventhal will get a new job, prompting me to get off the couch. But yes, I'm still retired. 

Alix Kendall, Megan Newquist and Brian Oake walk into a bar

I don't have the patience. 

Borrowed from Bring me the News: 

"Few details have been announced by the Eden Prairie-based Fox News affiliate, but FOX 9's "Morning Buzz" will become Good Day beginning next Tuesday. 

Alix Kendall, Kelly O'Connell and Shayne Wells will host the "lifestyle-focused" show. Morning Buzz is currently hosted by Kendall, O'Connell and meteorologist Keith Marler. 

KSTP-TV announced Wednesday that it'll launch a 9 a.m. weekday show called Minnesota Live on Sept. 7. The show will be anchored by Megan Newquist and Chris Egert, and is described by the ABC affiliate as a "lifestyle show highlighting what makes Minnesota an incredible place to live." 

The show will be televised on Channel 5 in the Twin Cities as well simulcast on WDIO-TV in Duluth and KAAL-TV in Rochester, all of which are under the Hubbard Broadcasting umbrella."

Where to begin. 

Every once in a while I turn on Fox 9, and it seems like I never see the jolly weatherman. I know he had health issues and was on the sidelines for a while, but it seems like I run into him on the morning broadcast infrequently. I never understood the appeal of him, but then again, I never understood the appeal of host chats. 

So Fox 9 is dropping the "Buzz" for an all-female chat that is lifestyle-focused, whatever that means. Out with the jolly weatherman, in with the drab former traffic guru. Funny that they're calling the show "Good Day," given that when the local Fox station started morning news and features more than two decades ago, they called it "Good Day Minnesota." It was a lame name then. Why recycle it now? 

It was bad enough Fox 9 gave us an hour of Alix Kendall's bubbly personality. Mr. Forehead, Jason DeRusha, eventually joined the fray. Oh boy. Mr. Foodie gets to pontificate along with whatever reporter draws the short straw and has to sit on the couch near the witty Twitterer. (Do they still do that, or did that die with the pandemic? I haven't watched that crap in eons.)

Now we have the geniuses at KSTP-TV joining the mess with their morning anchors. No more Regis or Kathie Lee at 9 a.m., now we get the morning anchors pontificating. And look, another lifestyle show! 

Ch. 5 already kills 90 minutes per weekday with Twin Cities Live. A couple of yentas talk about the fabulous and exciting world we live in, and sell products through disguised ads that are "provided by" the company being featured. Yeah, we need more of that crap in this world. Sure, the 9 a.m. hour will be sacred... lots of local stories that didn't make the cut of that "So Minnesota" feature they trot out once a week. I'll hold my breath. 

I don't know two things about the cost of television, but somehow trotting out hour after hour of news on Ch. 9 all evening, or filling the schedule with anchors and reporters giving opinions on crap they need not have an opinion about, is a better alternative than running some national celebs ego-driven talk show. What a weird world we live in. This is the evolution of man? We are living in end times. 

GET LOST, PERK

To the surprise of most, Eric Perkins departed from KARE11 last month. 

Dude has to be over 50. He claims he left simply because he needs a new challenge. That may be true. 

But let's look at reality. He's a lousy sportscaster on his best day, who has to be over 50 years old. He had held a job at KARE for 25 years, and against all odds he became number 1 in the sports department. He's at a point in life where he should be salting away his paychecks for retirement in a decade or so, but instead he's going to live life dangerously, without a new job or opportunity lined up? Something doesn't pass the smell test. 

People love the dork when he would play, and for years he did that dopey "Perk at Play" segment. People loved it, because we all love watching a man-child behave like a man-child, I guess.

He looked and sounded like a collegiate stoner having the best Saturday night of his life, and that was good enough for KARE11, and he's walking away from a gig reading sports headlines in front of a camera? I'm sure there'll be a job for the dork if he wants it. Everyone loves having a former TV face on their payroll. Perhaps he can afford to live life to the fullest at this point. Perhaps he inherited a nice chunk of change from his father. I have no idea. 

I'd be content to never hear his name again. Too bad I made the mistake of listening to the KFAN morning show for a few minutes not so long ago. They had no problem welcoming the dork to their highly celebrated "Initials" game. 

May that be the last time I hear his voice. 

I read some online chatter about Perk's departure, and the naming of Reggie Wilson as the new top dog of KARE sports. I have no idea who Wilson is, or why he was chosen. I have my guess. 

A lot of people were wondering why longtime weekend sports geek Dave Schwartz didn't get the gig. We assume he would have wanted a promotion at the station that has employed him for more than a decade. We don't know that, but it's a logical assumption. 

I find it surprising, too. It makes me wonder if we have another Jeff Passolt/Russell Shimooka moment on our hands. (There's not a great story onilne that I've found chronicling this KARE11 blunder, and I'm not going to rehash it here. If you don't know your '90s broadcasting history, you're out of luck.)

Fun fact: Shimooka's Linked In page seems to conveniently forget his ill-fated gig at KARE11. 

ASSHOLE ALERT

If you know the local radio landscape, you know that asshole Brian Oake has returned to Cities 97. 

He was named the new morning drive genius at Cities. The station has become so forgotten I couldn't tell you anything else about what's happening at the frequency these days. Talk about invisible, this station has done a hell of a vanishing act from my landscape during the past few years. 

Turns out the radio hipster had been helping sell records at a Hopkins music store to make a few bucks before being rescued by Cities 97. I guess that podcasting cash cow was a little light on the milk. Cities 97 rescued him from joining the roster of radio has-beens, and now that he's part of the Clear Channel family again, he's back to pimping himself on KFAN. I heard a few minutes of the asshole during a previous 2021 state fair appearance on Dan Barreiro's show, which they replayed on Labor Day. 

I have nothing brilliant to say. I'm just sorry to know that the longtime broadcasting asshole has a gig in radio again. I was hoping he'd become another successful real estate broker in Minnesota.  

AND FINALLY

We're about a week away from the one-year anniversary of Eric Malmberg's firing from The Current. 

I'm not making an argument for or against the guy, but I do find it curious that a guy who was fired by the hipster radio station, over a story the sister station wouldn't air, has yet to be rung up on any criminal charges. Based upon the outrage, he had to be guilty of something. I know the wheels of justice move slow, but what if he's never charged with a crime? In the court of public opinion, he has been convicted of some sort of crime. Will he ever be able to work again? What if he's not guilty of anything more than being creepy? 

I'm genuinely fascinated by the story of a story that never aired on MPR News, and resulted in reporter Marianne Combs quitting her job because of that. She quits, and Malmberg is fired because of a story we've never heard. It's a fascinating world.

I'd pay $89.30 to know what Malmberg has been doing with his time for the past 51 weeks. I'll pay that $89.30 to just about anyone, other than Minnesota Public Radio. At least not until they #bringbackBrianOake. 

The best thing about Oake working for The Current: We didn't have to hear him on KFAN. 

I had a premonition Kim Johnson was fired by WCCO

I'm not making this up, I swear.

I haven't been watching as much morning news, lately, thanks to the fact I am not working these days. It's temporary, and I'm not too worried about it. 

Turns out I could have morning coffee with Kim Johnson these days. 

I have no idea why, but this past weekend I wondered about Kim. As I watched local news coverage of the "peaceful" protests, and saw a cavalcade of WCCO reporters chipping in to the coverage, I wondered about Kim. I have no idea why, but I realized I haven't seen her lately, and I wondered, for no reason, if she was still working at WCCO.

Why did I have a premonition about Kim, and not Ali Lucia, Alix Kendall or Chris Egert? I don't know. (I saw Alix not too long ago, but I haven't turned the TV on much in the morning, do Ali and Chris still have a job?)

Then I read this morning that the morning anchorette, who never seemed to work a night or weekend, who never seemed to be called upon to do anything extra, was out of a job. 

Turns out she's one of us, I learned today. I never knew that. I did know, for no particular reason, that she's married and spends a lot of time frolicking around Lake Minnetonka. The story I stumbled upon somewhere suggested that she lives on the lake. 

I don't know what's more puzzling, why she had the job as a morning anchorette, seemingly for years, or why WCCO was compelled to kick her to the curb.

I have to wonder if she was shitcanned simply because WCCO is desperate to trim salary from the books. I gotta believe ad revenue is way down at this point in the pandemic. They've gotta be cutting deals on local commercial time, don't they? 

Great theory, but I can't imagine she was a financial burden. I have a few other theories that are even more of a stretch than that.

I suspect the end result of her unceremonious dismissal, whatever the motivation, is that we won't see a new hire. Instead her seat in the early morning will be filled by somebody on staff. I can imagine several ways this might work. 

Whatever the end result, I'll miss her, for no good reason. There's a reason, but it's not a good one. 

Now if WCCO really wanted to unload dead weight, it would have dumped Liz Collin. 

Alix Kendall, Rena Sarigianopoulos and Elizabeth Ries walk into a bar

I want to write about too many things, and I don't want to write 10 blog posts in the next year, so here are thoughts on a variety of topics, rolled into one package.

YOUR LIFE IS NOT THAT FASCINATING

Why is it that TV stations insist on treating their employees like they're part of our family? I'm sure the anchors and reporters are complicit in this.

We all know Rena Sarigianopoulos got married and had a child during the past few years. It's hard to hide the pregnancy when a woman continues to work on camera, but honestly, did KARE-TV need to share pictures of Rena's wedding and pregnancy announcement on its social media channels?

It's one thing to note that an on-air "talent" has had a child. If you watch Rena on that news-fluff program she participates in you noticed the obvious, and were probably reminded of it plenty of times. (I don't watch, so I don't know.) When Rena disappears for weeks, it's understandable that the station will show a picture of the mother and child and note a baby was born.

But TV stations take it to another level these days thanks to social media. I'm not sure which station in the Twin Cities is most guilty, but damn, KARE-TV sure likes to exploit the personal lives of their talent. I have to assume the talent agrees to play along. It's sad, and it is trumped by the fact that people actually care. They will respond to those Facebook posts to congratulate Rena or whomever it is for their incredible accomplishment. Harmless, sure, but a sad indictment of both the stations pumping out the local news and the people watching it.

BRING ME A BARF BAG

I'm not a fan of that lame attempt at news chat that Rena and her pal are doling out at 6:30 p.m., although Rena doesn't seem that interested any more. I don't watch the show, but if I have the TV on at 6:30, I try to see who is hosting on any particular night, and Rena is absent more often than not, it seems.

Perhaps the show is better than it was a couple of years ago when I first watched it, but honestly, these people are not smart.

Did I ever mention Rena once lectured me on Twitter? I made a silly comment about the show, but instead of ignoring it, Rena lectured me for my negativity. Now keep in mind that I had watched the show three times in its opening few months. I was watching on one 2016 night and tweeted that I was going to change the channel because the windbags on #BTN11 were going to praise Chris Kluwe, who should need no introduction to you because he's a media whore. I never said I wouldn't turn the channel back in five minutes to watch the final segment of the show.

So Rena, in response to a snarky comment at the end of the show, "busted" me. And then she lectured me, and tried to flatter her own ego at the same time. How superficial. And so, so wrong. At this point I hadn't tweeted all that much about her show, but she really put me in my place!

I was a social bully for daring to criticize a crappy show and refusing to watch two women babble about Chris Kluwe? OK, honey.

She didn't block me, like she should have if she is so delusional as to think I tweet hate daily.

Ignore those who criticize your crappy show if your skin is so thin. But pretending I'm some social bully who is constantly tweeting about how awful the show is shows how petty she is. Some might suggest it's an indicator of intelligence, or lack thereof.

Rena's not the only person who lives in a fantasy world of self-importance. The show has a producer named Nikki Muehlhausen who once lectured me on Twitter. She's at least smart enough to have deleted her tweets about a day after she did so. But basically darling Nikki told me that I'm allowed to praise her lame show and offer a suggestion, but I'm not allowed to call a spade a spade. I was wrong for calling it like I see it. I can kiss #BTN11 ass, but I can't call out bad TV when I see it. I didn't screen capture it, so I can't share the sentiment exactly as it was expressed, but yes, she was that ridiculous.

There's a dufus named Chad Nelson who points a camera at stuff now and again for Ch. 11. He saw some of my tweets, particularly those simple, dopey ones I sent for a while, noting I wasn't watching #BTN11 daily, despite what Rena thinks. His life is no better than mine, evidently, as he tried to needle me a few times in response. I love dopes who like to fight fire with fire. I'm sure he thinks he's above that.

In its earliest days they had some stiff named Nick Petersen who was their social media genius. They'd turn to him to share with the viewers what they were talking about on social media while watching the show. The guy wasn't smooth. I didn't interact with him much, but I did note his segment was painful to watch. A couple of months later I tweeted something (probably snarky) and made my standard comment about how I hate every segment, every day. He didn't reply. He blocked me, and I'm guessing he did so simply because he wasn't interested in seeing my comments in his social media scouring for #BTN11.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is how it's done. Don't get high and mighty like Rena and Nikki, don't be a fool like Chad. Just ignore and move on. I'll have a lot more respect for you, even if you're not great on camera. (I flip to the show for a moment every once in a great while, and I haven't seen that guy on camera for a long, long time. I'm guessing Nikki saw the same thing I did.)

My favorite interaction came from Chris Hrapsky. He's a KARE reporter who has had to feed from the #BTN11 trough a lot, as far as I can tell. (He has my sympathy.) I'm not sure why he was compelled to engage me, but rather than get all high and mighty, he spent a few minutes to learn a thing or two and ask a question. I was impressed.

Chris could be an egomaniac for all I know. He could have the IQ of a diseased cat. But in comparison to all those from KARE who engaged me regarding #BTN11, he appears to be the only person whose elevator goes to the top floor. I can barely watch KARE's newscasts these days, for a myriad of reasons, but I respect a guy who doesn't need to come off as holier than thou.

IT'S HARD TO KARE

I'm no expert or insider, I've said that before. But Ch. 11 has really gone down the toilet when it comes to overall quality of their news and newscasts, and I don't need to be an expert in order to see that. I don't have the time or patience to list all the ways the station has lost my viewership. I watch on a rare occasion just because I like torturing myself. The single best example of how the once-mighty NBC affiliate has gone in the dumper? Weekend sports kid Ryan Shaver.

CAN I GET A BARF BAG WITH JASON MATHESON'S FACE ON IT?

I have mocked the fact that TV viewers find the opinions of the local talking heads to be entertaining, interesting and/or important. It was enough to have the goofballs at Ch. 9 doing it every weekday at 9 a.m., but it must have been too lucrative, as Ch. 4 decided they needed to get in on the action, too. I won't rehash my previous rants about that.

Of all the talking bobos on local TV, nobody is more nauseating than Jason Matheson.

I use to respect the guy. He worked long hours and did whatever it took to land two seemingly decent jobs in the Twin Cities. And with all that effort, he has become intolerable.

I occasionally watch a few minutes of his TV chat fest on Ch. 9, airing weekdays at 10 a.m. and a dozen other times each week at any odd time the local Fox affiliate has time to fill on either of its stations.

First off, God bless Jason for playing up the gay stereotype of being fascinated with pop culture. I don't know if he gushes over the usual gay icons -- Cher, Barbra Streisand and Rosie O'Donnell -- but he gushes over a few people, I've learned over the years. Katie Couric immediately comes to mind. It sells, buddy, so keep it up, I suppose.

Why are people so fascinated about a gay man who will tell you how interesting a "Real Housewives" episode is? I'll never understand people.

A dude working in Minneapolis, talking about pop culture. Big fucking deal. But Jesus, Jason will try to convince you he has his fingers on the pulse of Hollywood, and connections you just won't get anywhere else. Maybe he does, I don't know, but every time I sample his schtick, he's making fairly obvious observations. He's like a poor woman's Wendy Williams. You want a window into the world of mindless sheep, watch Wendy's audience go nuts for her banal observations. Then get a local version of it by watching Matheson gab on Fox 9.

For whatever reason, his two-bit show has been given two summer tryouts as a national talker. I'm stunned that there's nothing better to consider. There can't be if his show is being given a tryout.

I tried to congratulate him for the opportunity. But I didn't simply kiss his ass, which seems to be the way you have to treat him nowadays.

I noted via Twitter to Matheson that it was a tough road to national stardom he was about to navigate, as proven by bigger names who have had summer tryouts in limited markets, but it was impressive nonetheless that he had been given the opportunity. Princess took that as an insult, of course, and had to self-stimulate his ego in responding to me. You'll have to take my word for it, I'm not in the mood to create Twitter images to illustrate it.

I don't read his tweets regularly, but he once bitched about the cost of an Uber ride from the local airport. I get that you don't make millions of dollars per year in local broadcasting, but it seemed silly to me. Perhaps he was trying to appear relatable to all the housewives who adore their gal pal.

I mocked him for his silly bitching, and of course his response was quite Sarigianopoulos-like, pretending that he's constantly under attack by me, somebody who rarely pays attention to his silliness.

He's a great success story whose ego can no longer be contained by his Buzz Boy frame.

I haven't listened to 10 minutes of his chick talk on morning drive radio, so I can't comment about how brilliant, or brutal, his long-form fawning over Shania Twain is.

And last, but not least: Jason, please convince those cheap bastards at Fox 9 to spend some cash on a theme song for your daily parade. Please don't tell me that the garbage you're using now is original, commissioned music. It sounds like royalty-free crap that would be used as filler during some lame children's show.

DID THEY HAVE A PRENUP? 

It's not nice to laugh at the failures of others, but I'll admit that the implosion of Paul Lambert's fairy tale marriage warms my heart a little.

Lambert, known as "Meatsauce" on 100.3 FM's morning show, is a great rags to riches story. He plays his part well, and as I've said before, he's The Fan's replacement for Jeff Dubay.

The hype and publicity he garnered for losing a few pounds and marrying Falen, a sidekick on the KDWB morning show, was a bit nauseating. Two people working for Clear Channel morning shows start dating, get married and live happily ever after. Congrats. More power to you.

It's inevitable that it's going to come up on the morning shows they work for. I assume it was discussed on KDWB. I rarely listen to morning radio, and when I do, I never listen to Dave Ryan. Ever.

But the nuptials got a lot of steam in the Twin Cities. There was at least one feature story in the local media profiling the love affair of these two "celebrities," and the duo didn't hesitate to market themselves as some sort of "Beauty and the Beast" duo. They'd find ways to use their marriage for promotion of themselves and/or their radio stations. I never watched the videos, but they had cooking videos that were shared on the radio station websites, if I recall correctly.

These clowns were nauseating, but that's what you have to be if you want to make money as a "personality." And of course the fairy tale marriage came crashing to the ground within a couple of years. I've read comments about why, but I've never heard or read a reliable explanation, and I don't care.

I don't revel in the failure of these fools, but it brings a wry smile to my face, knowing that their personal lives have been shown to be as fraudulent as their on-air personas.

QUICK HITS

To close out this Twin Cities roundup, here are random thoughts.

It's great that you get to sit on a WCCO couch once a week and give us your insightful movie reviews, Dennis "Rusty" Gatenby, but it's time to put your name to use as some mediocre communications coordinator for a local company and quit trying to hold onto the local TV limelight you lost so long ago.

It has been more than 18 months since I last published on this blog, and the last time I did, I noted what a waste of flesh Cheryl Johnson is. She's better known by her initials, B.J., and since she got in trouble for her idiocy back in 2016 she has been severely neutered by the Strib, which published the garbage she produced. The only reason they don't shitcan her, I'm guessing, is that she'll sue for discrimination. There ain't no way she's worth whatever they're paying her, and there ain't no way she's getting a better paying gig if she's kicked to the curb by the Strib. But it's nice to see the Strib has stopped publishing the garbage she use to produce, which seemed to lack any sort of editorial scrutiny.

I never, in my wildest dreams, would have guessed we'd still have sports talk on AM 1500. I don't know how that low-rated station survives, but kudos to all of you who looked to be out of a job more than a year ago.

And Kudos to the Pohlad family for proving that underachievement isn't limited to the MLB franchise you own. The inability of the Pohlads, whichever brother(s) run the radio/media conglomerate they built, to succeed in running a radio station is a fitting testament to the business savvy the family has demonstrated during the past 25 years.

Brian Oake is still an asshole. It just needs to be said more often than it is.

Last, and certainly least, is the namesake of this blog. I've predicted before that it's going to end on a very sour note for Dubay. His most recent run-in with the law ended with a plea agreement he made. He claimed that he couldn't risk going to jail for years as a result of the lies of a vindictive housemate he may or may not have been having sex with. Even if Dubay's hands were clean, the circumstances of it all show how hard it is to pick up the pieces after you've flushed your career and reputation down the toilet. And we know Dubay hasn't been able to walk the straight and narrow in the years since it all came crashing down around him. Unless Dubay comes to Jesus and makes peace with what's left of his life -- the dude is 50 years old, it's unlikely his life is ever going to be as cool as it was in his 30s -- it's not a matter of what ugliness will befall his life, it's simply a question of when does the next shoe drop. Good luck, Puffy, you're going to need it far more than most degenerate gamblers.

AND FINALLY

It's easy to throw stones at the local media. When pompous script readers like Jason DeRusha lecture the world on how precious his time is, and how great of a human he is for giving of his time, it's hard to avoid vomiting. Oh yeah, he's a culinary genius who eats and writes. He's multi-faceted!

When local "talent" is asked to fill an hour talking about the news and water cooler topics, you'll end up cringing at some point, assuming you're not lapping it up like a Pavlovian dog. (I'll never forget the excitement the recently departed Kylie Bearse expressed about the fascinating hour of chat they were about to launch at 9 a.m. a couple of years ago.)

It's too easy to throw stones because too many of the folks producing news or inane chat are mediocre at best, not nearly as well compensated as you might think. As I've noted before, plenty of folks get out of the biz for jobs that seem far less prestigious, and I'd bet my last $5 that income is a major factor in why former reporters find their way to communications positions with corporations or governmental agencies. Or, if you're fortunate enough to be a trophy wife, a la Natalie Nyhus, you can afford to stay home with your child. Why pass your paycheck onto a day care provider when you can spend those formative years with your child? Good gig if you can get it.

I have occasionally lavished praise, or simple observations, about developments in the local media. But more often than anything, I've chosen the low hanging fruit: Criticizing the mediocrity and mindlessness of the local media. The Twin Cities may be a top 20 market nationally, but our products are weak, and we're not unique. Media companies don't have the exclusivity and license to print money they once held, and they're not interested in being nonprofit entities.

I am pretty much guaranteed years of fodder, should I chose to accept it. But not so long ago, I listened as a motivational speaker discussed the merits of creating, regardless of the audience for your product. Sure, this blog is a creative outlet, and one that finds an audience. With little promotion these days I've found that plenty of people find their way to the blog. Not hundreds per day, but more than most "mommy" bloggers get, I'd wager.

This blog is a creative endeavor, but it's not the most satisfying creative outlet. A few months ago I finally started a new creative project that has nothing to do with writing, and I'm enjoying it. I'm going to keep at it.

I won't suggest that I'm never going to record another thought at this blog, but it hasn't been a priority for more than a year, and since the start of 2018, I've finally found a replacement for that creative expression this blog has provided, even if it is at Keith Leventhal's expense. (As his biggest fan, I had to work a backhanded compliment in one more time.)

Until something changes, I'm putting the blog on indefinite hiatus. Now, if we could just get Fox 9 to do the same thing with Ian Leonard....

Do you love Jeff Dubay more than he hates you?

When I started this blog a little over two years ago, I needed some random, slightly clever title for it, emphasis on slightly.

Jeff Dubay seemed like the perfect minor broadcasting "celebrity" worthy of immortalizing with this blog. Little did I know his life would implode, again, soon after I launched the blog. I'm not a fan of his schtick, but I do root for him, despite his appetite for self-destruction.

My goal was never to build a a vast online audience or a social media empire, I just wanted a place for opinions to be shared on people who think they're really, really special because they are seen or heard daily in the Twin Cities.

I have promoted the blog a bit, but I've mostly given that up. I tried promoting it via a couple of avenues, but I've since come to enjoy watching blog postings find their audience organically. I share each blog post via Google, and usually tweet a link to it once or twice, otherwise I'm rather low key when it comes to promotion.

I won't cite a lot of analytics, but I will share a few interesting tidbits when I look at how this modest collection of essays has reached the masses during the two years I've churned out content.

I'm averaging about 12 posts a year, and I never intended for this blog to have weekly content.

I'm not delusional, page views are no promise that a viewer has read a word I wrote. But that's one of the few measurements I have available in trying to decide if anyone notices the content I create.

I've tried a few experiments with Google and learned that my blog postings are near the top of Google searches for some of the broadcasters I've toasted.

Number one, easily, is Alix Kendall.

My April 2014 blog post about Kendall and her lawsuit against the cops has generated more than 13,000 page views in nearly two years.

I'm no analytical genius, but it doesn't take one to know that female TV broadcasters are frequently Googled.

Kendall must be quite popular with the Googlers of the Twin Cities. As a matter of fact, there's a blog site that features thousands of pictures of newswomen nationwide wearing boots. (Rena Sarigianopoulos, my new least favorite broadcaster, has been featured on the site.) That blog started as a site dedicated to the worship of Kendall.

So the fact that Kendall generates the most traffic to this blog is not a surprise. I should probably write about her more often just for the web traffic, but I'm not as fascinated by her, or her boots, as some people.

It's a close race for first runner up. The edge goes to a guy known on KFAN radio as Meatsauce.

His post grabbed a lot of attention in June 2014 because I tweeted the link to him, and he tweeted the link to his followers. As you'd expect, Paul Lambert wasn't enamored with my critique of his success in radio. I don't hate him, I don't love him and I didn't flatter him when I reviewed his charmed life, but he shared my writing, perhaps to rally those who love him to his defense. It worked, it appeared, as my blog post about him blew up quicker than any other I've written.

But ultimately Kendall proved to be more appealing to the Internet than Lambert, not to my surprise, so he's a distant second with barely half of Kendall's page views.

In third place, not far behind Lambert, is a post about Kelsey Soby. I've penned a couple of posts about Soby, but it was the first one that has her at more than 6,000 page views. Not to my surprise she generates a lot of Internet steam, although that has slowed down thanks to her retirement from being a morning traffic babe.

In fourth place is my post about Emily Engberg. The out-and-about imp for the channel 5 afternoon chat fest is easy on the eyes, and she has managed to generate nearly 5,000 page views.

From there things drop off dramatically. No other blog post has generated 2,000 page views. The closest would be a long dissection of Jason Matheson's career. That post is a steady performer, helped in part by the fact that a Google search of his name sometimes puts my posting at the bottom of page 1. He's no Engberg, clearly, but he's an established broadcaster that has a strong name in this market. So thanks, buddy, for the blog traffic. I'm not a loyal fan of his work, but I like his attitude, so it's hard to root against him.

Some of my older blog posts have low page views, often because I didn't drop a name into the title, I suspect. Name checking the primary subject, if there is one, helps generate traffic. Posts that don't have a name in them are the worst performers, according to page views.

Although I have several post titles that reference Dubay, none of them top 1,000 page views. And my very first post, about Dennis "Rusty" Gatenby, has more page views than any Dubay post, although it, too, has less than 1,000 page views.

Showing promise is a November 2015 post about Shayne Wells, the new traffic babe at FOX 9. It has nearly 1,400 page views, which is pretty good compared to everything I've written about Dubay.

Another measurement of interest in the comments I receive. None of my posts receive a truckload of comments, and the comment tally includes responses I make, and I respond in some capacity to most of the comments I receive.

Many posts have no comments, but the post with the most is my Lambert analysis. His total is due, in part, to the fact he tweeted it to his followers, and several of them read it, and responded. The post manages to generate an occasional comment nearly two years later.

Kendall gets the most page views, but her post is second when it comes to comments. She has never tweeted a link to my writing, to the best of my knowledge, so I'm guessing that has something to do with it.

My first post about Soby is the third most popular with those who comment. Beyond that my blog has a small, random handful of comments.

These numbers don't tell you a lot, and I don't care. I just wanted a snapshot for comparison purposes should I continue this blog in the years to come.

One last note, my post about Keith Leventhal is doing pretty well. It has nearly 1,000 page views, which is impressive given nobody in the Twin Cities knows who he is. I suspect half of that traffic is due to the fact he visits the post on a daily basis.

Does Carla Beaurline need plastic surgery for that thin skin?

My goal isn't to bash the would-be celebrities of the Twin Cities, but I'm not going to kiss their ass, either.

If I think somebody is deserving of praise, I'll give it to him or her. If I can't stand somebody who is trying to be a celebrity, and causes me nausea in the process, I'm less apt to spend time writing about how horrible of a human being he or she must be. (I know, I know. I couldn't resist ripping on the Pohlad geniuses for their painful attempt to run a radio station.)

Just because I don't worship the ground Alix Kendall or Paul Lambert walk on doesn't mean I find them loathsome.

I wrote about prissy little Carla Beaurline not so long ago. I wrote about her because I'm amazed, simply amazed, that Beaurline and her band of misfits are running commercials month after month on a glorified cable access channel. (I haven't stumbled across Mike Woodley lately. Should I be searching for an obit?)

I didn't kiss Beaurline's skinny little ass, but I called it like I see it. I'm not impressed by her broadcasting skills. From her crappy banter with the late Mark DeJoy to her school girl voice, I find her to be somewhere outside my list of favorite broadcasters, local or otherwise. I don't hate her, I don't find her painful to listen to, and I don't have perverted thoughts when I see her on the TV screen. (As one of my readers noted in his comment, he gets tingly in the pants when viewing her picture. More power to ya, buddy.)

I noted in a follow up that there was a funny item in the local gossip maven's article about some sort of pettiness between Beaurline and one of her former cohorts at the local shopping channel. You'd think you had been reading a storyline out of "Beverly Hills 90210."

So I posted two columns mentioning the seemingly hard working Beaurline, who loves to glorify vacuum salesmen, and decided to follow her Twitter feed, just to see what kinds of things she writes about now and again. (I use Twitter primarily for access to the brilliance of the local scene, not because I expect to build up a huge Twitter following. But I do tweet links to my blog when I pen something new via @jeffdubayhatesu.)

Beaurline's Twitter feed is so precious that she has it protected. She has to bless you with access to her brilliance. And she did just that for me, for a short time. But she must have read this blog, decided that if somebody isn't going to kiss her ass, she's going to block that person from following her. Yep, she's that vapid.

Not a big deal. Access to her mindless promotion of the suckers who line up to be profiled on her crappy 30-minute commercial isn't high on my wish list. It's kind of funny, really. She wants so desperately to be treated like she's something special, but the suggestion that she's not God's gift to broadcasting is all it takes to set her pouty ass off.

This woman is a joke. Google her for five minutes.

I'm not going to suggest that anyone who competes in any sort of "beauty pageant" is worthless, but Beaurline's early claims to fame include an effort to be pedestalized as some sort of sacred bimbo. She was a north metro beauty queen about 100 years ago. And clearly she'd rather play Barbie Doll and smile for the camera, telling you how wonderful a car dealership is, than do something that has any real value in this world. She flamed out as a celebrity huckster on the local shopping channel and now she's trying to pretend she's still important to the world by boring us to tears with 30-minute commercials for local businesses.

You gotta have thicker skin if you want to make it in this world, honey.

There's a reason your career has been relegated to Ch. 6 for the past 13-14 years.

Lacey Crisp, you're no Kelsey Soby

While all the world has decided that an Eden Prairie lion hunter is more despicable than Jeffrey Dahmer, I confirmed something much more important in the local news business.

Lacey Crisp is no Kelsey Soby.

Soby was the KMSP-TV (Fox 9) morning traffic reporter for about four years. She inherited the job when her predecessor had difficulty keeping her own vehicle on the road, apparently as a result of uncorking her bottle.

Soby had that certain greenness about her when she started. Sure, she worked in small town television somewhere, but her on-air presence didn't command the airwaves like the best of the best do here in the Twin Cities.

Occasionally Soby did some sort of fluff piece for the morning news show, or she'd pinch hit in some small capacity. If they needed somebody to sit on the couch and chat about infotainment at 9 a.m., she'd be there.

Her big score was when she was hired as the sidekick for the one-hour "On the Fly" gab fest that started about two years ago on KMSP's sister station. After about 18 months of that gig Soby left the show, citing an increased focus upon her duties to the intrepid news team at the Fox 9 morning show. A few months later she hastily announced her exit from the airwaves, with no word on where she was going.

Within days the brain trust at Fox 9 had a new traffic reporter to read the morning maps for us. Her name was Lacey Crisp. She had done the small town news bit, and had reported in Milwaukee, evidently. The job seemed like a step down for somebody who had been a news reporter in a major market, but que sera sera.

I swear it wasn't more than two weeks when Crisp disappeared. A random day off didn't seem like a big deal, but that random day off didn't feature a replacement traffic reporter. Perhaps Crisp's absence was due to emergency circumstances and prevented the station from wrangling its usual pinch hitter, Meisha Johnson.

But then another day went by without Crisp. And another. And another. And with each passing day, the traffic reports were left to Alix Kendall and Tom Butler, both of whom stumble through a brief rundown of traffic conditions. It's painful, yet amusing, to watch.

After bugging the fine folks at Fox 9 via Twitter for a few days, with no response, the mystery is partially solved. Morning reporter Dawn Stevens was eager to welcome Crisp, via Twitter, to the Fox 9 family a month ago, and when questioned recently about Crisp's absence from the airwaves, Stevens did confirm that Crisp is toast. Stevens tweeted in reply to the inquiry that management decided to move in a different direction.

So let me get this straight. Soby quickly disappears from a job that she was going to be more focused upon after her departure from "On the Fly," within a few days a new traffic reporter is welcomed into the Fox 9 morning show family, two weeks later that new family member is given the boot, and two weeks later the anchors are left to flail in the wind every time there's a traffic map to post.

Coincidence? Perhaps, but something smells rotten in Eden Prairie.

Morning traffic reporters are overrated, as far as I'm concerned, especially in this day and age. But it seems that the devaluing of Fox 9 traffic reports is less about my belief and more the result of a three-ring circus they're hosting at the KMSP-TV studios.

Exactly how dysfunctional the Fox 9 morning program is these day, we'll probably never know.

Please, tell us what you think (Jason DeRusha is so smart!)

I'm sure we owe it to the abundance of cable news channels.

When did we start caring what news broadcasters think?

As the years go on, we find networks and stations continuing to serve us opinion after opinion from their talking heads.

We've always looked to broadcasters for commentary and criticism, but when did we decide it's important to know what Alix Kendall and Jason DeRusha think?

I use to scoff at the idea, as if Kendall giving her opinion on today's social issues or political wrangling was some sort of breach of ethics. But let's be honest, Kendall isn't a reporter. She's not a journalist. She may know what's going on when she presents the news, but she's not out there gathering information and filing a report. She's paid to talk, and to look good when she does it. She may have once pounded the pavement, but those days are over. She gets to sit in the comfy chair all morning, and then on a comfy couch to share her keen insight on the day's news nuggets and celebrity non-news, which of course has become increasingly important in our day-to-day lives.

She's one of many at the local and national level. And we care. We care what Kendall and her sidekicks think. We really care. If we didn't, KMSP-TV wouldn't be airing an hour of Kendall and her sidekicks every weekday morning.

That's what local television is coming to, and why not? We've been subjected to a steady diet of this for years now. It wasn't enough to know what Barbara Walters and company think about "hot topics," we needed an afternoon clone on CBS. And now we have a minority women panel doing the same thing on a daily syndicated program. I guess we can't get enough of that sort of thing on cable television. Or maybe too many of us still can't afford it.

We haven't hit the local saturation point yet, evidently, because WCCO-TV opted to share with us an hour of their broadcasting brilliance rather than replace the latest celebrity talk show host failure with another syndicated program. We're calling it Mid-Morning, or MidMorning. I don't know which, as the WCCO Facebook page can't decide what we're calling it.

We now get DeRusha and his giddy sidekick sharing stories and insight into the world we live in every weekday morning at 9 a.m.

But damn, do we have to choose? Those 9 a.m. eyeballs are so valuable that WCCO is challenging KMSP directly. Look out world, it's Carson vs. Rivers all over again!

I had to sample a few minutes of the inaugural show, and it's pretty much as I expected. As the final minutes counted down to the start of the fresh, new and exciting show, the giddy sidekick could hardly contain herself. I didn't realize the start of an hour of fluff was so exciting. You'd think WCCO was about to invent a new format.

But alas, it was not to be. There are straightforward news and weather presentations packaged into the WCCO chat fest, something KMSP avoids doing at 9 a.m. since they're not beholden to a network morning show for the two hours prior to their couch chat.

The lowlight of the morning came when DeRusha and the sidekick actually moved away from the news desk to sit at the in-studio couch, joined by DeRusha's morning news babes, so that the foursome could privilege us with their opinions on the news of the day. Oh thank God!

I turned back at the end of the show to see the self-congratulatory finale of their first chat fest. You' would have thought they had just landed an unmanned spacecraft on Mars.

I had no idea how nervous KMSP was about competition for the thousands and thousands of people who crave couch chat every morning. When I flipped to KMSP I saw none other than the prodigal son, Jason Matheson, sitting on the couch. His TV wife and the jolly weatherman weren't there. It's spring break at many metro schools this week, I'm sure they're busy entertaining the kids in some far away land, as all grade school students are entitled to.

I'd actually pay to read the story of why Matheson – whom we love more than Wendy Williams, Whoopi Goldberg and Kelly Ripa combined – spent a year on the bench to earn his parole from KMSP, only to turn around and forsake his first love and return to KMSP less than a year later. (What the hell happened at WCCO in less than a year? Why does KMSP need him on their station so badly? Why the absence of a non-compete clause like the one that chained him to the FM dial for a year before he emerged at WCCO?)

It's unlikely Matheson is going to bail on his morning drive radio gig in order to make a triumphant return to the couch on a regular basis. Perhaps he has learned how to teleport between St. Paul and Eden Prairie. Barring that, KMSP clearly sweet talked him into blowing off at least a portion of today's morning drive in order to counter WCCO's heavy artillery. We've got a donnybrook in the making!

The television landscape has always been far more prestigious than its radio counterpart. But the value of broadcast real estate has eroded with the creation of cable television channels. And digital streaming is further eroding the already fragile ecosystem. We're seeing an increasing emphasis on talk programming on the local airwaves, including the once-coveted FM dial. So why shouldn't our local and national broadcasters and content providers emulate what works halfway decently on local radio? (The bean counters for KTMY-FM might beg to differ.)

We need entertainment in our lives. Not every program can emulate "The McLaughlin Group." But did we really need yet another hour of couch chat, even if it's buffered by news tidbits and slice-of-life profiles by the giddy sidekick?

Of course we did.

Why do we worship false idols?

The king of Twin Cities media, Jason DeRusha, wanted everyone to know how he, and others like him, are taken advantage of periodically by event organizers who recruit the likes of DeRusha to emcee their big event.

DeRusha, the male morning mouthpiece for the local CBS affiliate, wanted everyone to know his list of gripes when it comes to his good deeds. And without going back to read them, my memory is that he had legitimate gripes. I'm not going to stop to read it again, but you can.

DeRusha is among those who are called upon to emcee events periodically. More on that in a minute. His gripes included not being compensated for the cost of parking, not being purchased a glass of wine for his effort, being asked to show up two-and-a-half hours before his duties begin, having his name mispronounced, being expected to help generate media coverage of the event and being expected to put asses in the seats. There were a couple I'm not remembering.

His gripes were legit, and explained thoroughly. I enjoyed the piece. I had no idea that TV people were being taken advantage of by organizations looking for an emcee.

But it made me wonder, why is it that society idolizes broadcasters every time an organization is holding an event?

I get it, you need somebody to emcee a program about the organization, be it a charity raising cash or a foundation passing out awards. You need somebody who speaks clearly, succinctly and isn't afraid to speak in front of a crowd. Some of our local news anchors and reporters, on TV or radio, fit that description. So they get asked to do so. But why?

The obvious answer is that we treat them like celebrities because they are public figures. The two are not one in the same. But when we treat them like celebrities, we think it's precious and special when they appear in the flesh, and somehow we have been conditioned to think that an awards presentation is more important because Alix Kendall is reading the introductions.

In some cases the "celebrity" emcee is actually involved with the organization, so it's not such a stretch to have him or her emcee an event. If you're not lucky enough to have Don Shelby or Joe Schmit on your organization's board, then you try to get Frank and Amelia or Paul Douglas to emcee, as that somehow makes your gala or program more important.

Does anyone really buy a $75 ticket to an organization's fundraiser because Diana Pierce is the emcee? Does Belinda Jensen really put asses in the seats? I doubt it.

There are plenty of people – probably more than one affiliated with every nonprofit organization and charity in the metro – with the skill set necessary to emcee a gala. Yet the Twin Cities needs DeRusha to emcee 10 of them this month. (He made sure to let us know how in demand he is.)

I get why broadcasters are quick to jump on these invitations. I suspect there are several reasons, and any one or more of them are in play each time an invitation is extended. But seriously, is our world better because the annual fundraiser we attended was emceed by Rena Sarigianopoulos?

I wish this world would do DeRusha a favor and stop sticking him with the tab for parking. I think our charities would be just fine without him.

Alix Kendall, a fascinating case study

How long have we known you, Alix Kendall?

Here’s what I remember about Alix, accurate or not: She started on the new Fox9 morning news/chatfest when it launched more than a decade ago. Eventually she added the couch chat hour to her morning news recaps. She started on a show called “Good Day (Good Grief) Minnesota,” a show that simply came to be known as the Fox9 Morning Disaster, or something like that. She once accidentally referred to the show, during its initial incarnation, as Good Morning America, and then gasped as she realized her gaffe. (Did I imagine this?)

At one point she got married, had a child and got divorced.

I remember her fiancée being trotted out onto the set prior to her marriage. I think the dude picked her up during this awkward moment in local broadcasting.

Her daughter made an on-screen cameo at last once. I remember she was sitting on the couch next to Jason Matheson, and she seemed annoyed to be there.

You learn a few things about local “celebrities” if they hang around long enough.

Among the nuggets: Alix lives somewhere in Minneapolis, I’m certain, based on anecdotes about her life. Perhaps she said so in so many words.

She’s over 50 years old. She doesn’t trumpet her age, but she doesn’t hide it. I think I gleaned this nugget via Facebook. I’m not connected to Alix, but she didn’t hide her age.

All it takes is a little online searching of her name and you’ll learn a few other nuggets about her. The most bizarre, bar none, is that there is/was a blog named after her. It’s a blog dedicated to news anchors and reporters wearing boots. The curator of these screen shots/pics of broadcast news professionals is amusing, and creepy.

Alix is not her real name. (I’m shocked!)

She is suing government agencies for more than $75,000.

She’s a local gal, I think.

So what does all this mean?

Alix does a good job doing what she does and avoids being a nauseating “celebrity.”

I don’t hold anchors in high regard. It’s a talent to anchor a broadcast, no doubt, and you have to be able to think on your feet. You can’t be an uninformed idiot, either, but anchors have it cushy in comparison to reporters. Anchors are typically compensated to be the face of a newscast or station, and therefore you rarely see them doing any of the legwork. That’s not to say they don’t, but you don’t see it. Typically anchors cut their teeth as reporters, but the anchor's chair is an overrated gig, and a good gig, if you can get it.

Alix isn’t flawless as an anchor, nobody will mistake her for Today Show talent, but she has been a solid presence for more than a decade.

Years ago the local affiliate added couch chat to its morning news, an hour dedicated to opinions and commentary by the on-air staff, because we all really want to know what Alix and the gang think about the news of the day and other water cooler topics. I have no idea if Alix volunteered for the gig or was told it was part of her job. It’s harmless, but the idea that our local talking heads from all the local affiliates are so precious and special that we should care what they think about the hot topics of the day is a bit nauseating. Unfortunately it’s the world we live in.

I may not care to know what Alix thinks about the news of the weird, but once again she handles the job without being annoying or pompous. God bless her for that.

I don’t envy women in broadcasting, now more than ever. There are enough weirdos out there that you can’t assume you’re safe from all of them when you anchor a morning newscast. You know that’s part of the deal when you choose the career path, and it has been for decades. Nowadays, however, you’re not only subject to scrutiny from anonymous blogs like this one, you’ll inevitably end up being critiqued like a piece of meat from the anonymous depths of the Internet. While it might be flattering to be heralded as an attractive woman when you wear knee-high boots during a morning newscast, it can’t be pleasant to know perverts are salivating over you, even in an industry where image is highly important, especially for women.

I think the thing that rubs me the wrong way regarding Alix is that she’s suing government agencies for a nice payday. I’m not saying she shouldn’t be compensated, but Alix and others in the media are ready to pocket cash for violations of their privacy by government officials with access to driver’s license data. I’m not convinced they deserve a fat settlement.

I won’t break down the current data privacy issue being debated here in Minnesota, but here’s what I can say in brief: Public officials shouldn’t be using the driver’s license registry to look up personal information about public figures. Compensating victims of that privacy violation shouldn’t be automatic, especially for those who choose careers in broadcasting. It’s creepy, sure, but being a public figure who trades on his/her public image shouldn’t be surprised when they become the subject of public fascination.

That doesn’t make it right for public officials to look up an anchor or reporter’s home address, but is it that traumatizing? Perhaps so if your data has been accessed for years, hundreds of times. But isn’t it  as traumatizing to know that somebody is fixating on you as an anchor when you wear boots to work? I can’t say which is more traumatizing, but I have a definite opinion.

So a boots blog isn’t an invasion of privacy. Fine. What does suing government agencies accomplish. I think it has been made clear through scrutiny of the practice, and settlements paid for such invasions, that driver’s license data is not a de facto Facebook for cops and other public officials. Is Alix’s lawsuit for $75,000+ (according to the Pioneer Press) aimed at punishing those who abused their access to driver’s license data? Or is it punishing the taxpayers that support those agencies?

How does $75,000+ alleviate the trauma caused by the privacy violations? How is it that $5,000 isn’t enough? The settlement isn’t about alleviating Alix’s trauma, it’s about punishing agencies responsible for the violations, punishing them to the point it hurts. I get that.

But I can’t get past the fact that there seems to be a bit of a cash grab at play. I understand the temptation. I could rationalize doing the same thing if I were in that situation.

It’s hard to make a judgment about Alix’s motivations without knowing the salient details. Perhaps cops were routinely driving by her home for years, hoping to get a glimpse of her washing her car in a bikini. But what if she had no idea she has been “checked out” repeatedly by public officials. Why does finding out you’ve been checked out 30 or 3,000 times suddenly freak you out when you didn’t know it was happening. It’s gross, for sure. Is it so traumatic that it takes $75,000 or more to alleviate the trauma?

I don’t mean to pick on Alix. She’s not the only news anchorette looking to cash in on this government windfall. But her case is recent, and prominent. It gives me reason to think twice about who these people are, why we hold them in such high esteem and what they give up in order to do their jobs.

Thanks Alix, you’ve remained true to the Minnesota roots I want to believe you have.

Jason Matheson must have a drug addiction

As Jeff Dubay's broadcasting career ended with a spectacular thud last month, another bastion of Twin Cities broadcasting perseverance made a splash too. Just not as big of a splash. And that's the way it should be.

Jason Matheson, a local entertainment guru, is returning to local television at Ch. 4, where Don Shelby once famously proclaimed in a commercial, "We all really like each other," or something close to that.

I've seen Matheson now and again over the years, and as best I know, he worked in some capacity, perhaps as an intern, for Ch. 4 prior to his long tenure at Ch. 9, our local Fox affiliate.

Years ago he was known as Buzz Boy, a doughy, young looking, enthusiastic entertainment reporter. Over the years he grew up to be a fixture for Fox9. He did his "Buzz Boy" weekly entertainment show, participated in the cheesy coffee talk hour the station created in lieu of another nationally fed male-female gab fest to follow the hard hitting news of the 8 a.m. hour and anchored a little news in the wee hours of the morning before the stars of the morning news took over the anchor desk.

And somewhere along the way he added chick talk radio co-hosting to his resume. After a long morning in Eden Prairie he drove to the Hubbard compound in St. Paul for girl talk. Sorry Jason, I haven't listened to more than 15 minutes of your radio career, so for all I know you could have been talking politics all day.

The dude wasn't building houses, but he was putting in long hours five days a week. As we're seeing here in the Twin Cities, radio, TV and newspaper gurus are double dipping whenever they can. Again, a topic for another night.

Matheson left Fox9 a little over a year ago, unable to get paid what he so richly deserved for wearing multiple hats on a daily basis. That coincided with his move to morning drive radio.

For a year he has sat on the television sidelines, presumably because of a non-compete clause in that fat contract from Fox9, and talked the talk on the FM dial. A little over a year later and we get the big news that Matheson is taking his talents to downtown Minneapolis.

I was mildly surprised.

Our little afternoon male-female gab fest on the Hubbard TV station was in need of a new male anchor last spring. The era of the housewife may be a novelty of the past, but the show is geared toward a female audience, now more than ever. When "Twin Cities Live" lost its testosterone in John Hanson around the same time as Matheson was readying to leave Fox9, Twin Cities Live gave up any pretense that the show was for a mixed audience. Yes, men enjoy "food, fashion and fun," or however they bill it, but it's clearly a show geared toward women, and perhaps gay men.

Because of that non-compete, I suppose, Matheson was unable to take the male reigns of TCL last spring. So KSTP poached one of its news guys to fill that void. That guy, who is so forgettable I've practically forgotten his name, conveniently left the show less than a year later to take a seat at the morning news desk. It was as if Chris Egert (see, I remember,) was filling the seat on a temporary basis until Matheson could legally fill it. And given that Matheson was already drawing his paycheck from the Hubbard empire doing morning drive on chick talk radio, it seemed like an almost perfect marriage. Even gossip maven Cheryl Johnson thought so when Matheson was preparing to leave Fox9.

And then Matheson sold his soul to his original Twin Cities mistress, Ch. 4.

I was mildly surprised, but not completely. Had he taken the male throne of TCL, it would have meant starting work before sunrise and sticking around until 4 p.m. daily. For the right money, I'm sure he'd have said yes. But he was pretty much stuck in morning drive on the radio, as TCL's cheerleader, Elizabeth Ries, is already double dipping at Hubbard, filling the morning slot after Matheson.

So Matheson is off to Ch. 4 and TCL is still looking for a man that loves food, fashion and fun.

The gossip maven claimed that multiple stations were clamoring for Matheson's talents. I'm not sure why he's such a hot commodity, but clearly he is.

There's value in familiarity, so Matheson has that going for him. And while his love of entertainment and coffee talk are not my cup of tea, there's a need for that in local television. Our country has never been more obsessed with celebrities and the millions of non-celebrities that are vying for 15 minutes, and if you want to draw viewers to your station's local news programming, you'd better be able to shill for the network's entertainment offerings. Death, taxes, gun control, those are news topics to some. For others, you'd better talk about American Idol, a Kardashian sister or Lady Gaga's current concert tour.

And there's Matheson to cash in on it.

Who knows, perhaps they'll actually have him do news reports on non-celebrity topics, but I'm guessing that a station that employs Heather Brown to go out and ask people for a "good question" on a nightly basis isn't a station that is hiring Matheson for his coverage of Hennepin County District Court proceedings.

We will soon find out.

I'm not a fan of Matheson. I'm not that interested in pop culture topics, or the opinions of TV reporters, anchors and/or meteorologists when it comes to current events and pop culture.

Despite that, I find it hard to dislike the guy. Like his good friend Jeff Dubay, Matheson has worked hard to build a career in broadcasting covering topics that he seems to love. Unlike Dubay, Matheson hasn't derailed his career or lashed out against the online negativity that lurks in dark, and no-so-dark, corners of the Internet, as far as I know.

I'm not his target audience, but obviously I've seen his stuff more than a few times on Fox9. He went from a doughy, slightly awkward entertainment reporter to a polished broadcasting professional. I may not enjoy his work, but I admire the hell out of his work ethic and professionalism.

And about that professionalism. I think if there's anything I can criticize him for, he has been professional to a fault.

Did I mention Matheson is gay? I don't know where I first heard mention of it, but it probably wasn't by Matheson. Unlike some local "celebrities," (talk show hosts, anchors and reporters are not celebrities,) Matheson doesn't need to appear on the cover of our local gay periodical three times a year, as far as I know. I don't think he hides the fact that he is gay, but just like his non-gay counterparts who don't need to vomit tidbits about their personal life, Matheson avoids it too, as best as I can tell.

Years ago a KSTP reporter and fill-in anchor use to drop harmless little references to the fact he was Jewish. I don't care what religion an anchor or reporter is. Likewise, I really don't care if a reporter or meteorologist is gay. Yet it use to bug me that when the coffee talk hour would feature stories about gay issues, Matheson seemed to be going out of his way not to reference his life or his experiences during the dialogue. Yes, I eventually caught him making a reference to his own life, but it seemed to take a long time.

On the one hand, I couldn't care less what religion or sexual orientation a reporter or meteorologist is. On the other hand, if you're going to engage in on-air coffee talk, and share opinions about the topics of the day (because it's important to know what Alix Kendall thinks about current events,) then doesn't it look curious when you don't share personal experiences about news topics that you probably can relate to during your life?

I can argue that he was too professional while sitting on the Fox9 couch, but there's no rule that says he has to cut open a vein when giving an opinion about current events or pop culture nonsense.

And that's the only thing I can find to criticize him for.

I've never met the man, I never will. I don't listen to him on the radio, and I'm not going to start. I likely won't be fascinated by the topics he covers for Ch. 4, but I'll get a chance to see his work occasionally, and I'll probably watch it.

He's good at what he does. Very good. Plenty of public figures on radio and TV in the Twin Cities rub me the wrong way. But Matheson isn't one of them. There's nothing to dislike about him.

So why must he have a drug addiction? He must be hooked on some sort of stimulant, because there's no way the guy can log that many hours week after week simply on the strength of a good night's sleep. The man might be a machine.