The charmed life of Paul Lambert

You've got to admire Paul "Meatsauce" Lambert.

I don't know the full story behind the rise of Lambert, but it's a great story. (I've heard the story behind his Meatsauce nickname, but I don't quite remember how it goes, and I have no interest in hearing it again.)

Here's my assessment of Lambert's schtick: You take a guy with mediocre, at best, broadcasting skills, add a dash of pudginess and top it with a little self-deprecation and somehow you get a success story that's too good to be true.

I don't remember how long it has been since Lambert found his way onto the KFAN airwaves, but he started as a bit player on the station's morning show, as best as I understand it. (I can't tolerate the morning show, so I rarely listen for more than 10 minutes.) Desperate for whatever minimal hourly wage the station was willing to pay him, seemingly, Lambert would show up anywhere and everywhere he could. Whenever there was a job to do later in the broadcast day, Lambert would stick around and fill the seat. He seemed to end up sitting in on Dan Barreiro's show most often.

As time went on Lambert became a prominent player on the KFAN morning show, despite the fact he seemed to play the fool most of the time. He has never developed a polished, competent on-air persona, but that doesn't seem to slow him down. It's as if people want to listen to a guy who sounds as if he has no business on a major market radio station.

As I noted, Lambert was a bit doughy. Nobody would describe him as debonair. But a few years ago he decided it was time to stop looking the part of a slob as he played the role of the doofus, so he started to lose weight. That hardly explained what happened next.

His improbable career in major market radio wasn't enough, evidently. Lambert pulled another horseshoe out of his rear end. He married the easy-on-the-eyes female sidekick of the local top 40 radio station this spring. Yep, a doughy guy with male pattern baldness is a cult figure in Twin Cities radio and married the cutesy sidekick at the neighboring station.

It's a fairy tale, I tell you.

Obviously I'm not in awe of Lambert's skills. Love them or hate them, most personalities on the radio have a quality and skill set that tells you they're a radio personality. Not Lambert. He continues to sound like a guy who is struggling through his first semester at a college radio station. And yet people seem to love him for it. If he's giving what the people want, there's nothing wrong with that. Those who don't enjoy his work can easily change the station.

I can appreciate the role of the dopey sidekick on a sports radio station, but the latest announcement about Lambert, via City Pages, can only make me laugh. He's going to be one of the on-air personalities for the horrible new "alternative" station KFAN's parent company, Clear Channel, is launching at 93.3 FM. So far the station is a painful joke of an alternative station, and having Lambert try to fill the role of one of the jocks should only cement my opinion of it.

I suspect Lambert will double dip. Clear Channel will likely pay him a few dollars over the paltry salary he receives for his work on KFAN and expose him to the non-sports audience. Perhaps those that love the milquetoast flavor of 93.3 will enjoy Lambert's bumbling, stumbling ways. Or perhaps Lambert will become the broadcast professional he presumably wanted to be all those years ago when he was a bit player on KFAN. Time will tell. Good luck to him. I won't be tuned in to 93.3, so it won't matter to me if he succeeds or fails.

Lest you think I simply want to slap Lambert on the back for his good fortune, I will note that the guy has skin as thin as Jeff Dubay. Lambert has no problem playing the fool or dishing out a heaping helping of self-deprecation, but as soon as somebody suggests anything mildly unflattering about him via social media, he'll be quick to cut you off at the knees, at least when it comes to Twitter. That receding hairline is further exposing awfully thin skin. There's a good chance this blog's Twitter account will be blocked by Lambert if he even thinks one critical thing has been written about him.

It will be interesting to see where Lambert is in 10 years. His schtick seems to play well, but radio is a fickle mistress. As soon as Clear Channel is done with him, he'll be tossed aside faster than Chad Hartman. Will there be another radio station ready to embrace him if Clear Channel decides to untether him? Only time will tell.

I'm at a loss to explain the aura of Lambert, but you can't hate a guy who lives a charmed life, even if you don't root for him.

As for Dubay, do you think he hates Lambert? Dubay's tenure at KFAN had a similar track as Lambert's. Dubay was Meatsauce before Lambert was Meatsauce. Dubay might not hate Lambert, but I'm sure he's bitter he threw away his career and opened a door for Lambert to walk through.