Happy new year

One critic doesn't like my quick and bland posts. I don't care. I had hoped to do an unspectacular post as a Christmas gift, but there was no Eric Malmberg moment to inspire me. Sorry. 

Two quick thoughts that probably aren't worth more than a tweet. 

I saw a commercial on WCCO this evening. It was promoting the fact Heather Brown was the new morning co-host. I'm not sure why she's being punished, but having to share studio space with Jason DeRusha's ego can't be a treat. 

This announcement surprised me none. She was already chatting away during the 9 a.m. hour, one of far too many hours of host chatter that we don't need. Our world wasn't better off when Sally Jessy Raphael was wasting an hour of our day, but our lust for local chatter can't be that insatiable. And the last thing I want to do is listen to a dude with a receding hairline, who has to remind us he's a food expert, pontificate about local issues. 

Sidetracked by that goof. Can't help it, he's a clown. 

Heather was probably taking her share of morning co-anchor shifts already. I don't know, I kinda quit watching morning news talk when I quit working last spring. I have no idea if they hired anyone new to fill Kim Johnson's slot in the payroll ledger, but I doubt it. I assumed that the new co-host would be somebody on staff, and that likely meant no new hire when they kicked Kim to the curb. I'd be impressed if somebody could document that they haven't cut reporting/anchoring jobs since the pandemic. But c'mon, there's no chance their roster is as robust today. 

What I can't figure out is why the hell it took until January to officially announce one of the early morning staffers in the rotation was filling the seat. The fact that there's a commercial promoting it in mid-January is obnoxious. But TV news is despicable that way. 

I'd also love to know how eager Heather was to sign up for this gig. Did they offer it to her, or did they reassign her to the seat, with no meaningful choice in the matter. I know where I'd bet my last $5. 

Speaking of despicable, newspapers are not immune. I didn't scour the internet, but I do know what's left of the Pioneer Press had some sort of story, at least online, trumpeting that Ken Barlow is the chief meteorologist now that Dave "Dull" has retired after 43 years. (That's an old nickname for him for a crappy old broadcasting forum. It wasn't my idea. And honestly, Dave's boring, gimmick-free style is more desirable 100 times out of 100 than Ian Leonard on his best day.)

Barlow is the old hen at KSTP, so he gets the title, for whatever that's worth. Sounds like he'll remain a morning guy. So is he going to race to the station every time a severe storm blows through the metro? You assume so. Otherwise it would seem that chief meteorologist designation is ceremonial. 

And as part of the big announcement, we learned Wren Clair is going to inherit the prized nighttime newscasts, full time. She had been splitting prime time with Dave, evidently. The fact they are giving her full weeks at this point is not really a surprise, either, unless they were going to call up one of their third-stringers to take Dave's place, and that didn't seem likely. 

The change in job titles and assignments ain't news, but we treat TV people like they're special because we see them on TV, and we're suckers for reading such crap, myself included. Nonetheless, newspapers reporting on job changes at a local TV station: Despicable! But entertaining. 

See also: This. 

Patrick Hammer (Fay) needs to stop drinking

It turns out Dennis "Rusty" Gatenby isn't the only person who likes to hit the bottle.

Another alum of KSTP-TV has a bit of a problem keeping the cork in his bottle. The meteorologist we knew as Patrick Hammer finally landed a regular gig after a long layoff. He took his talents to Buffalo.

Hammer's story of perseverance is admirable. After many years at the Hubbard fiasco he was kicked to the curb, told he wasn't wanted. It took a long time for Hammer, known to the court system as Patrick Fay, to land another gig. God finally smiled upon him, sending him to Buffalo for a new gig earlier this year.

Hammer's story is rather interesting. It was told locally by our annoying gossip maven, and a similar story was chronicled not so long ago in Buffalo.

Essentially Hammer – his last name on TV, but somehow his middle name in real life – spent more than a year waiting for a TV camera to beckon him, so he took a job with Target, doing warehouse work. He was recognizable to most people he worked with, evidently, but that didn't change the fact he needed some sort of income to help feed family. At some point he also took a retail sales job, selling men's clothing, as I recall.

The local spin of his tale left out a few interesting details, such as the difficulty he had in obtaining part-time work with another Twin Cities station.

Last winter KARE-TV needed some help on a temporary basis, and they brought in Hammer for the gig. According to the Buffalo version of the story, even though the heartless Hubbards kicked Hammer to the curb, he was still bound by a non-compete clause in the local market. Hammer had to beg the Hubbards to let him take a temporary gig on KARE-TV during his local blacklisting. Eventually the heartless Hubbards consented, as long as it was limited to weekend broadcasts.

I get why non-compete clauses are part of the broadcasting business, but I'll never understand why the clauses are in effect after you are shown the door. If you're still being paid by your former employer, that's understandable. But it boggles my mind that employers are allowed to tell employees that if they cut off your income, you're not allowed to take a comparable job elsewhere in the market. A station that wants nothing to do with you is allowed to keep another station from employing you for a defined period of time. That's insanity.

Nonetheless Hammer had that added obstacle to overcome in his quest for further employment. Although KARE-TV didn't want him on a full-time basis, thanks to his temporary work at the NBC affiliate he was able to land a gig with another station under the same ownership as KARE-TV.

Hammer and his family were off to Buffalo, never to return again. (Neither Hammer nor his wife have Minnesota roots.)

Hammer made news in Buffalo recently, and it wasn't good news. After five months on the job in Buffalo he was busted for DWI. His rags-to-riches story had just been chronicled two weeks earlier in The Buffalo News when the newspaper had to tell the tale of how he drove his old Toyota into the ditch, and had a blood-alcohol concentration that was twice the legal limit.

Part of Hammer's rags-to-riches tale tells of how he bicycled to his gig at Target. You would assume that was simply for exercise and to save gas money. But perhaps not. (The family was down to one vehicle, he told Cheryl.) Relevant or not, Hammer turned to the bottle for comfort not long after he disappeared from the KSTP-TV airwaves in early 2014. He was arrested for DWI in Washington County, where he lived, around Memorial Day 2014.

The gossip maven missed all this in her rags-to-riches tale. Oops.

So Hammer has a drinking problem, or at minimum a driving problem, and it manifested itself at a low point in his professional career. That's gotta be a bitter pill to swallow.

Unlike his good buddy Dennis Gatenby – the former traffic dork and unnecessary seat warmer at KSTP-TV for far too many years – Hammer was able to escape the public shame of being a TV celebrity who couldn't keep his car on the road. Gatenby's inability to drink and drive was touted as the reason the Hubbards kicked him to the curb. (I contend it was just an excuse to do what they should have done years ago.) Hammer's inability to drive drunk escaped the notice of the intrepid Cheryl Johnson!

All that has changed, however, with Hammer's latest booking for DWI in Buffalo.

What does the future hold for Hammer and his employment in Buffalo? It's hard to say, but it doesn't look good when you're hired to replace a longtime, legendary meteorologist on a TV station's payroll and then you wind up facing a felony DWI charge five months into your gig.

In two chroniclings of his rags-to-riches story, Hammer comes off as humble and appreciative of overcoming a challenge in his professional career, a challenge that was seemingly thrust upon him without warrant. He seems like a likable guy.

I have never watched his station religiously, and he never rubbed me the wrong way. I was never enamored with his broadcasting prowess, but that's par for the Twin Cities.

The dude hit rock bottom at what would seem to be the lowest point of his professional career, and he recovered. He may not be the king of meteorology, but he seemed to do a nice job of rebounding from 2014. And yet he has derailed his career with his inability to drink and drive.

Many people fail repeatedly, yet are able to dust themselves off time and time again. The rules are a bit different when you're a pseudo-celebrity like Hammer.

Whether this is merely a bump in the road or a road block you may never overcome regarding your broadcasting career, you have two choices, Hammer. Continue to make the same mistakes, and further jeopardize your career, as well as the lives of your wife and family, or stop drinking.

You clearly have a problem. Solve it by becoming a cautionary tale, not a punchline in Twin Cities broadcasting history.