Star Tribune columnist C.J.: an emperor with no clothes

I've been relatively quiet via this blog in recent weeks. That has been by design. But tonight all bets are off.

I don't enjoy "Breaking the News." It's a painful show featuring two smug women who are producing a bunch of fast food, the kind of garbage the public seems to crave when it comes to the news they consume. I've learned via Twitter that Rena Sarigianopoulos, one of the two anchorettes, isn't very sharp. And some of her KARE-TV staff is equally dimwitted when it comes to social media and responding to people like me, who don't find the TV show to be worthwhile.

I scoff at the general wardrobe choices of Jana Shortal, the other anchorette. I'm not a prude, I just think that her wardrobe choices and her style are a distraction when she broadcasts. And I find that to be the case every time I flip past her KARE-TV chatfest. But even if she looked like a million dollars, it wouldn't change my disdain for the content of the program. It's just my personal preference, and I feel that way whether she's talking about terrorism or what little kids think about politics. But i'm just a viewer with a blog. I have no clout in the media.

While I don't care for Shortal's show, I care even less for the arrogant, worthless gossip maven of the Star Tribune: Cheryl Johnson. I like to refer to Johnson by her nickname: B.J.

B.J. decided to rip Shortal for her wardrobe choice while discussing a sad, difficult, 27-year story that affects many in this state. Most are only affected indirectly, yet thousands upon thousands of people have been impacted by the short life and horrific death of Jacob Wetterling.

Of all the times to rip Shortal about her wardrobe choices, B.J. is too fucking stupid to know better than to do it in relation to Shortal's reporting about the details of Wetterling's death. (I don't think I've ever used profanity in this blog.)

B.J. has been a fixture in the local media for more than two decades. That's one hell of an indictment of the Twin Cities right there. And B.J. has proven herself to be an egotistical, arrogant bitch on previous occasions.

And the fact that B.J. chose the details of Wetterling's death as the moment to crucify Shortal for her fashion choices shows just how inflated her ego is, how out of touch she is as a human being and how worthless she is as a gossip maven in the Twin Cities.

I may not be a fan of Shortal, but I was highly impressed by how classy she was in her online response to B.J.

What's more astonishing than B.J.'s idiotic, aloof perspective of Shortal? The fact that the Star Tribune allowed her idiocy to be published on its website. The Strib offered an apology for posting an insensitive column by B.J., but it begs the question, "Are the inmates running the asylum?"

I'm glad the Strib published the column, only to delete it and offer a pathetic apology. B.J.'s shallow, arrogant opinions have unleashed holy hell upon the Strib's social media platforms and is bringing spectacular attention to the worthless trash that is B.J.'s career.

I hope the Strib's error finally awakens more than a few people to the fact that B.J.'s media presence is pathetic and worthless.

I may be petty and idiotic for having an opinion about how lackluster Shortal's wardrobe is, but I'm not as petty and idiotic as B.J., thank God.

Rena Sarigianopoulos you're breaking my heart

I've noted in the past that I'm not a big fan of talking heads telling us what they think about the current events of the day, and Rena Sarigianopoulos hasn't changed my opinion of that.

Sarigianopoulos and her sister from another mister, Jana Shortal, really want us to know what they think about some of the topics of the day. And it's a painful exercise.

After months of planning the dynamic duo debuted "Breaking the News" early this year. I have no idea what it is they're breaking. They're not breaking news, and they don't seem to be breaking down the news. Perhaps they're trying to tell us they're breaking the mold of what a news show is, and should be.

Horrible name aside, the wonder twins are doing everything in their power to get us to tune in and hear them babble about news topics and fluff that wouldn't see the airwaves under discerning circumstances.

I watched their recent President's Day edition, or whatever the pointless holiday is, and I was not impressed.

They opened by talking about the political hot potato: a vacant Supreme Court seat. Shortal made a very keen observation about how it is going to be an interesting topic to watch.

Shortal also did one of those cutesy bits where she interviewed kids at a museum, asking them questions related to the legal holiday...the reason the kids weren't in school. I'm not sure how that was "breaking the news," but it was uninspiring.

It has been two days now, so I don't quite recall every element of this painful show. I wasn't taking notes. But I seem to recall some sort of cute, viral video, or something akin to it, because we don't get enough of that from every other news talker on TV. Great job breaking the news, ladies.

Naturally this show has an interactive element. Oh boy, what a thrill, having a tweet read during the broadcast. And sharing opinions with other simple-minded dolts on Facebook. Dream come true.

If that's not bad enough, the social media conversations are handicapped on camera by a guy with a little too much starch in his underpants. I'm guessing he forgets to wear deodorant, too. He was less than comfortable sitting in that Office Max desk chair, leading the social media parade.

But that kind of crap appeals to an element of society, and that's what the brass at KARE-11 is seeking, I guess.

As if this show wasn't painful enough, it's a visual disaster. The news chicas are sitting on a couch, of course, and it's hideous looking. I guess the new set recently built for Randy and Julie was guilty of breaking the bank. (#rimshot)

While I don't expect Sarigianopoulos and Shortal to look like the Bobbsey Twins, they should at least look as compatible as Frank and Amelia. But that's not the case.

Sarigianopoulos looked like a trophy wife socialite at a stuffy country club while Shortal looked like her wardrobe came from Ellen DeGeneres' clothing line, if she sold it at Walmart. I'm not a big fan of fashion critique, but the Odd Couple schtick isn't helping an already painful show. Somebody call the fashion police, Shortal is breaking the law. (#rimshot)

Most television is little more than mindless distraction, and if viewers want to hear two people painfully stumble through 30 minutes of banter, that's no more a crime than watching a high stakes game of hangman or a bunch of California hipster wannabes sitting around talking about the camera people who chase celebrities. But that doesn't make Breaking the News worth applauding.